Sunflowers In The Open
by Al-meow
Summary: Sequel to Sunflowers in a box, Gilbert has never been responsible for anything in his life. When he gets stuck making friends with Matthew, the victim of a cruel man, he will have to change up his game. PruCan, Full Summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Sunflowers In The Open**

**Sequel to "Sunflowers in a box"**

**Summary- Gilbert has never felt responsible for anything in his life, even his own little brother. But when he gets stuck making friends with the victim of a cruel man, he may just have to change his act. And Matthew, who is scared his ex-captop will return for him at any minute, lives his life pretending day by day that he's getting better, when in reality, it isn't getting any better. The two will find that each other's life affects the other. **

**Rating-T+**

**Pairing- PruCan. RusCan on the side**

Chapter 1

Gilbert has been having the worst week off his 20-year-old life.

It had started out like any other week. Him and his friends, Francis and Antonio, had gone out to drink and party, but they had went a bit overboard. They created a bit trouble at the bar, and after leaving, they ended up running the car into the side of Francis' neighbors house. They were fine, but Antonio's car wasn't, and the police showed up after that.

They spent the rest of the night in a jail cell. If it wasn't for Francis' rich father, and one hell of a good lawyer, the three may have be spending many more nights.

But, they ended up with 70 hours of community service. The judge declared that they do their service in three different places, so they wouldn't be together.

Antonio got the local animal shelter, and Francis got the local soup kicken.

But Gilbert got assigned something totally different. He was to provide his service at the Kirkland Medical Facility as a "Friend", which he thought was a fancy way of saying he was a babysitter from some crazy mental patient.

'Why did I get the worst job?' Gilbert thought a few days after, parked in front of the Facility. He had gotten a call telling him that he needed to go get some file from the doctor.

When he entered the building, Doctor Kirkland met him at the door. The British man seemed displeased.

"You're late. You better not be when you're working here." He said, walking in his office. He passed Gilbert file. "This is the file of the boy you will be 'friending'. He's very secretive. Make sure you read the entire file. Avoid the things that set him off."

The file was seven pages long. "What kind of kid is this?" Gilbert thought to himself. He looked up at Doctor Kirkland. "This kid isn't dangerous, is he?" He asked.

The doctor looked annoyed. "Matthew is not in any way dangerous. He's safe. In fact, he's been getting better. I want to see you here on Monday at 7:00 am."

"7:00 am!" Gilbert groaned. He hadn't woken up that early since high school! Doctor Kirkland dismissed him, and Gilbert walked to his car.

"Guess I should read this stupid thing." He muttered, as he opened up the file he had been given

Oh god, what had he gotten himself into?

Since they were forbidden to drink for 6 months, the three delinquent friends had taken to meeting at the Pizza place Antonio's family owned, after their work was complete for the day. Antonio and Francis were Gilbert's only friends, so he wanted to show them the insane kid he was going to have to deal with.

"Look at all the problems this kid has." He said to his friends. "Post-traumatic stress disorder, Panic disorder, Social anxiety disorder." Gilbert looked to them for support.

"Are you sure this is okay? I mean you're not exactly the best person to be looking after a kid like this." Antonio said, Francis seeming to try hard not to laugh.

"Hey! He's not a kid, the files says he's like 17. And I'm good with taking care of kids! Look at Ludwig! He turned out fine!" He said, and with that, the two burst into laughter.

"Ludwig basically took care of himself!" They said, still laughing. Gilbert rolled his eyes.

"What's the kid's name?" Asked Francis. Gilbert took another look at the file.

"Matthew Williams Jones." He said.

Francis' face changed. "I've heard that name before." He pulled out his smart phone and started searcing something. He pased the phone to Gilbert. "Look at this, it's an article from a few months ago. The teen in it has the same name."

Gilbert looked at the article. In it detailed a young boy being saved after being held captive for 6 years by a Russian gang boss who sexually abused the kid. The name of the boy matched the kids name on the file. "If it's the same kid, good luck with him. This is just a horrible case."

Gilbert looked at his friends in the awkward quiet as they contiuned eating.

Matthew liked Saturday night. Alfred always had friends over to play video games.. Today, Kiku was over with the latest game. Matthew never played the games with them, but he watched them. But tonight, it was getting late, and he was tired

"I'm going to bed. Night Alfred. See you next week, Kiku." Matthew started walking back to my room.

"Good night Matthew!" Alfred called back, as Matthew shut the door to his bedroom.

"How is Matthew doing? He seems better then before." Kiku asked Alfred, who was winning the game at the moment.

"Yeah, Arther says he's getting better. He can even sleep in his own bed now." Alfred smiled.

But back it Matthew's bedroom, he simply laid in bed. He had been sleeping in his own bed for a few weeks. The first night he had a panic attack, but he didn't call for Alfred. Matthew had been trying hard to make it look like he was getting better. That meant hiding his panic attacks, and pretending to sleep well, when he barely slept through the night. The nightmares kept him up. They kept getting worse and worse. The teen would wake up crying.

Matthew decided to pretend he was doing better, after hearing Alfred talking to his Doctor about how he never seemed to be improving. Matthew had felt bad, he was trying, but knowing that Ivan could come for him at any moment scared him into constant panic. Going anywhere scared Matthew, but he had to move on, and look like he was doing better.

Lying was hard for Matthew, but he wanted his brother to be happy.

Matthew started his usual night of barely sleeping and violent nightmares.

**To be continued.**

**Author note.**

**So here's the sequel, I hope everyone will like it. **

**I put Matthew's full name as Matthew William Jones, since him and Alfred are brothers and they're supposed to have the same last name.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sunflowers Out In The Open**

**Sequel to "Sunflowers in a box"**

**Summary- Gilbert has never felt responsible for anything in his life, even his own little brother. But when he gets stuck making friends with the victim of a cruel man, he may just have to change his act. And Matthew, who is scared his ex-captop will return for him at any minute, lives his life pretending day by day that he's getting better, when in reality, it isn't getting any better. The two will find that each other's life affects the other. **

**Rating-T+**

**Pairing- PruCan. RusCan on the side**

**Chapter 2 **

Gilbert's car was parked in front of Kirkland Medical Facility at seven in the morning. He was still half asleep; taking one last look at the file Doctor Kirkland had given him.

"Well, here I go." Gilbert thought, as he exited the car and headed to the door.

The place was full of teens and kids, more than there was he first came in. The age range was all over the place too. Gilbert was thinking it wouldn't be hard to get annoyed with all the little brats running around.

When he got to Doctor Kirkland's office, he was led to the small room.

The room looked like a small classroom. There were childish decorations on the wall, and a small table in the middle. Sitting at the table was the boy from the picture in the file that was given to Gilbert.

He had shoulder length blonde hair and pale skin. The teen was wearing a baggy red sweatshirt. His back was to them so they couldn't see his face.

"I hope you read the files. Matthew is very sensitive and even though he's improving, you need to be careful." With that, Doctor Kirkland began to walk away.

"Wait!" Gilbert called out. "What I'm supposed to do?" Doctor Kirkland turned to look at him.

"Most of our patients don't really get to socialize much. Since Matthew has a lot of social disorders it's hard for him to be with big crowds. You're here to talk and try to make friends with him."

"So I'm basically a babysitter..." And with that, the British doctor walked away.

Gilbert stood there for a moment, nervous. 'Why am I so worried about talking to this kid? It's not like he's going to kill me.' He walked into the room. The kid didn't move or notice when he walked closer.

"Um...hey. I'm supposed to be your 'friend' thing. So, hi." The boy turned around to look at him.

He had a very unusual eye color. They almost looked violet. 'He's pretty good looking considering everything.' Gilbert thought to himself.

"Um…hello." His voice was small and timid. Gilbert could barely hear him.

"So..." He tried to think of something to talk about before things got awkward. "What are you doing?"

Matthew turned back to what he was doing. "Some of the math work Doctor Kirkland gave me. But I'm having a hard time." He made a cute sad face. Gilbert moved to look at the paper.

It looked like 8th grade math. 'I guess that makes sense since he wouldn't have been able to go to school. I wonder what he went through in six years.'

"Maybe I can help. I'm not that good, but I'll try." Matthew smiled up at him.

Gilbert had to say he had never felt smart before. His brother never needed help with anything, so it felt cool to help someone. Plus he could actually do that math, since it was easy middle school math.

"Wow, thanks for helping me." Matthew said sweetly. Gilbert had to admit, Matthew didn't seem like he imaged. What he imaged he'd be working with was a troubled kid, not a sweetheart.

"I'm...sorry. I didn't ask your name." The blonde said quietly.

"Oh, my name's Gilbert."

A little bit later, Gilbert got back in his car. Him and Matthew had played a few board games for a while, until Doctor Kirkland came in to tell Gilbert it was time to leave.

Gilbert got in his car and sat there for a moment. 'I don't know what to think about this.' The kid looked really young. He wasn't bad looking. Gilbert shook his head. 'I shouldn't think like that.'

The next day, him and Matthew took a walk around the small park-like area at the Kirkland Medical Facility.

It had a small pond and playground. Since it was summer, the grass was wet for all the rain they had been getting. Gilbert was trying to think of something to talk about. Walking in silence was feeling awkward.

"My brother said it was going to rain today. But it's so sunny out." Matthew said. It seemed he was talking to himself, but Gilbert was just glad he said something.

"Oh, you have a brother? How old is he?" Gilbert asked.

"He just turned 20. I live with him." Matthew wouldn't look at him. He kept looking everywhere else. "Hey lets sit down." He moved to a bench.

"You live with him? Just him? What about you parents?" Gilbert sat next to him. Matthew's face turned down to the ground.

"My parents died in a car accident while I was still captured. I don't remember much of them."

Gilbert wanted to hit himself. How could he say something stupid like that? He felt horrible now. "I'm sorry."

Matthew's face was still turned towards the ground. "I live alone with my brother too. He's your age. We don't know much about our parents." Matthew looked at him.

"Yeah, we didn't ever know our father. I guess he wasn't around or something. Mom left us when I was seven. We never found out why. She left us with our great uncle Fritz. He took care of us till I was sixteen. He passed away. So it's been my brother and me since then. It hasn't been that bad." Gilbert felt weird having the teen's attention like this. Matthew moved clumsily in his seat.

"It's nice to have a brother to help." Matthew gave a shy smile. Gilbert sort of laughed at that. It was hard to remember any time his brother would need him.

The sky had darkened with black clouds in the time they had sat down. Before they knew it, the rain started to pour down.

"Damn it!" Gilbert cursed and got up. "Come on, lets go inside." He brought his hand up to help Matthew up. The teen hesitated for a moment but took his hand. By the time they got under cover, they both were already soaked. It was then Gilbert realized Matthew still had a hold of his hand. "Um..." He wasn't sure what to say.

"Oh! Sorry." Matthew murmured sheepishly. He let go of Gilbert's hand. The blonde's face turned red, and he turned away.

After that, Doctor Kirkland rushed Gilbert out, saying it was time for a therapy session, and Gilbert was done for the day.

To be continued

**Another chapter done~ I hope everyone liked this chapter. Matthew and Gilbert finally met, and we learned a little more about Gilbert's back-story. Sorry this chapter is so short. QAQ Next chapter is long and I really love it so I hope everyone likes it. **

**Thanks for the reviews and reading this. 3 **


	3. Chapter 3

**Sunflowers Out In The Open**

**Sequel to "Sunflowers in a box"**

**Summary- Gilbert has never felt responsible for anything in his life, even his own little brother. But when he gets stuck making friends with the victim of a cruel man, he may just have to change his act. And Matthew, who is scared his ex-captor will return for him at any minute, lives his life pretending day by day that he's getting better, when in reality, it isn't getting any better. The two will find that each other's life affects the other. **

**Rating-T+**

**Pairing- PruCan. RusCan on the side**

**Chapter 3 **

A few days passed, and Gilbert spent most of the time with Matthew. They usually played games or watched movies. Gilbert had to admit, this wasn't so hard. The kid was nice, and honestly this was an easy job.

This time they were watching some cartoon movie. He noticed that the blonde teen was munching on some snack bar.

"Hey what are you eating?" Gilbert grabbed the wrap away. It looked like something a doctor would give someone. There were no colors or brand names on it.

"It's a bar Doctor Kirkland gave me. It's supposed to help me gain weight. I have a really small weight number and muscle mass." Matthew said. Gilbert wondered why'd he eat them. They looked gross.

"Why is that?" Gilbert questioned.

Matthew curled up in his chair. His face grew sad, and his violet eyes moved to the ground. "Shit! I messed up again! Why did I say that? Dumbass." He thought panicking to himself.

"When I was with..." Matthew gulped. "He make me take these pills, they messed up my growth and now I can't put on weight like I should." The blonde's eyes were fixed on the tiled floor. "But...if I do gain enough weight, I could play hockey! Doctor Kirkland says if I don't, it would be unhealthy to play. I could get hurt."

Gilbert watched as Matthew took another bite. He looked like him was trying to swallow.

"So, you like Hockey?" Gilbert tried to change to subject.

"Yes! I love it. I watch games at home with Alfred. I really want to play!" Matthew's face shone brightly. "If I gain enough weight, I can join a junior team." He said happily.

Soon after that conversation, the doctor came in to tell Gilbert it was time to leave.

The next day when Gilbert came to office, Doctor Kirkland met him at the door. He had a scowl on his face.

"Good luck with him today. He threw a fit after his doctor's appointment today. He wouldn't talk to anyone." He said

"A fit? What went wrong?" Gilbert asked. Matthew didn't seem like that the kind of person who would throw a fit.

"He got angry when I told him he couldn't be on a hockey team at his current weight. I have things to do today. Don't expect him to talk a lot." The British doctor left Gilbert.

Gilbert found Matthew sitting in his room. The blonde was rolled up on the small couch. He was sitting with his back to the door. When Gilbert walked in, Matthew didn't even move to greet him.

"Hey, Matthew. What's up? The Doc said you were upset." Gilbert walked to Matthew's side, but when he put his hand on the teens shoulder, he pulled away and rolled up into a tighter ball.

"Hey, come on now. He said you couldn't play hockey. I know that sucks." He sat next to Matthew but he still didn't move.

Matthew stayed quiet for a while till he finally said something. "It's not fair. I tried so hard to gain weight and it was all for nothing." He grumbled, almost to himself.

"Come on, it had to be..."

"Zero. I haven't gained a pound. Even after doing everything Doctor Kirkland said, nothing!" Matthew's face was red with frustration. "He said there's no way I could play because I'd get hurt."

Gilbert was never the voice of reason, but he felt bad for Matthew. "Well, he's just doing what a doctor is supposed to do." That didn't help Matthew, as he still wouldn't move.

So they sat there. Matthew had started quietly crying. Gilbert felt bad for him. Matthew had really wanted to play hockey. He remembered how happy Matthew looked yesterday talking about it. He thought. "What can I do?" Suddenly, Gilbert remembered the ice rink close by. It was still early, so it wouldn't be crowded.

"I'm going to be back in the minute." Gilbert walked to Doctor Kirkland's office. He was sitting the on the computer.

"Hey. Am I allowed to take Matthew outside to the ice rink down the street?" Arthur looked at him like he was speaking another language.

"What, of course not! He can barely go out to places like that with his brother. You've only known him a week. No!" The bushy eyebrow man looked up at Gilbert.

"Hey, he's upset, Matthew wanted to play hockey and now he can't." Gilbert was kind of pissed that the doctor didn't even think of how upset Matthew was.

"He'd just have a panic attack, and you wouldn't know how to handle that. He's stays here, end of story." With that the phone rang and he waved Gilbert out.

'What a dick.' Gilbert thought. 'It would be like half an hour and it's right down the street.' He noticed that there was no one at the front door and most of the other kids were all in rooms playing.

That gave him an idea.

"Hey, Matthew, get up. We're going out for a surprise." Matthew turned to look at him.

"What?" he didn't seem to understand the idea. "Where are we going?" he asked while they walked through the office to the front door. Gilbert looked around. 'No one, great. This is so easy.' He thought.

Matthew and Gilbert started walking on the street. It was still early, so there weren't too many people out. The teen followed close behind him- almost too close for Gilbert. He turned to look at Matthew. He was looking all right and didn't seem to stop moving for a moment.

When they got to the rink, they rented a few skates and hockey sticks. As they walked into the rink, Gilbert started to lace up his skated when he noticed Matthew was just standing there.

"We're going skating?" Matthew asked watching Gilbert.

"Yeah, we are going play hockey, just the two of us." Matthew's face lit up. "Do you need me to help...?" Before Gilbert could ask the blonde teen if he needed help, he was finished lacing up his shoes, and running out onto the empty ice. Gilbert finished lacing his skates and ran out to Matthew.

"Alright, let's play." Matthew said playfully. Gilbert decided that he'd go easy on the teen.

But that was before Matthew scored the first three points. After that he don't think he could let a sixteen-year-old win so he started playing just as hard.

"Come back you!" He called as Matthew's skates quickly passed him. The kid was fast and made like a freaking animal on the ice. The teen scored his 7th point. Gilbert only had 4, which didn't make him happy at all. He moved to get the puck again before Matthew did but wasn't fast enough. The blonde teen spun around and got it first. He tried to stop Matthew, but ended up struggling to keep on his skates. Before Gilbert knew it he was falling, and taking the younger boy with him.

Gilbert jumped up as soon as he saw Matthew sitting on the ice. Remembering the weight of boy, he only hoped that the blonde hadn't gotten hurt.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Are you okay!" Gilbert panicked.

Matthew sat there for a moment, and then started laughing. "I'm fine." He looked up at Gilbert through his bangs and smiled.

"You're really good at hockey. Where did you learn to move that fast?" Gilbert asked, helping Matthew up off the ice.

"I've played a few times with Alfred. I don't really know why I can go so fast, it's just fun I guess." Matthew's smile seemed to get wider and wider with ever word. "Have you played before?"

"No, not really. I've played here and there with friends I guess." Gilbert said. He noticed how bright Matthew's violet eyes looked in light of the rink. He also noticed though his glasses, dark circles around his eyes, like he hadn't slept the night before.

It was then that Gilbert noticed the large clock on the wall.

"Oh! Crap! We got to go!" He ran off the rink. It had been more than an hour. Gilbert was planning to go back to the office in a half hour, but lost track of time. He returned the skates and hockey materials, and led Matthew out back on the street.

There were a lot more people out now. It was near lunchtime. Gilbert was trying to move quickly through them.

Matthew was having a hard time walking through the crowded street. There were so many people, and it was making him dizzy. His heart started beating faster and faster as he tried the keep up with Gilbert.

Someone walked past him and bumped his shoulder. He didn't hear the man apologize. All he heard was a small voice in the back of his mind.

"_мой подсолнечника."_

Matthew stopped dead in his tracks, and tears rolled down his cheeks, and his whole body started shaking.

Gilbert noticed Matthew wasn't following him. He turned to see Matthew just standing there. He ran to the crying teen.

Panic started again for Gilbert. He had never seen anyone have a panic attack, and didn't know what to do.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Gilbert asked, but didn't get anything out of him. Before anyone noticed the two, Gilbert moved to a dark alley to leave the eyes of others.

Matthew was now covering his ears, and was still sobbing. Gilbert didn't know what to do. The teen leaned against the wall, repeating "no" softly under his breath. Gilbert grabbed a hold of Matthew's shoulders. It only seemed to make it worse. His face turn from fear to terror

"I'm sorry! Please don't take me! Please Ivan!" He babbled, like he couldn't even see or hear Gilbert.

Gilbert grabbed Matthew's chin to make him look up at him.

"Matthew! It's me! Gilbert!" Matthew's eyes finally looked up at him. "You're fine. I'm here. You're not going to get hurt as long as I'm here." He tried to say as softly as possible

Matthew didn't break eye contact, but he seemed to calm down slowly.

"What happened? Why'd you freak out like that?" Gilbert asked.

Matthew spoke slowly. "When I'm in a crowded place, I think he's everywhere and I get scared because I didn't know if one of them is him, coming to take me back." While he talked he rocked himself back and forth.

"Who's going to take you back?" Gilbert looked puzzled

"Ivan."

**To be continued. **

**I think this is the longest chapter I've written in a long time. I hope everyone likes this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it. **

**Thanks for reading and thanks for the reviews everyone. 3 **


	4. Chapter 4

**Sunflowers Out In The Open**

**Sequel to "Sunflowers in a box"**

**Summary- Gilbert has never felt responsible for anything in his life, even his own little brother. But when he gets stuck making friends with the victim of a cruel man, he may just have to change his act. And Matthew, who is scared his ex-captop will return for him at any minute, lives his life pretending day by day that he's getting better, when in reality, it isn't getting any better. The two will find that each other's life affects the other. **

**Rating-T+**

**Pairing- PruCan. RusCan on the side**

**Chapter 4**

"Who?" Gilbert asked the young teen, who was having a severe panic attack.

"Ivan, the man who kidnapped me before." He rubbed his eyes, still crying.

"Why would he come back?" Gilbert asked questionably. He remembered that they never found the man who took Matthew.

"He knows where I am. He's been sending me letters and tells me he'll come and take me away."

Gilbert was filled with dread. "Have you told anyone! When did this start!" Gilbert said, panicking.

"It stared after my birthday. It's been 3 months since then. I haven't told anyone. Ivan would kill anyone who gets in his way." More big tears fall down Matthew's face; he could barely get the words out. "I've seen him kill people before."

"You have to tell someone. Like Doctor Kirkland, or your brother, like now!" Gilbert almost grabbed his shoulders again. So he, trying to make some physical contact, gently took his hand.

"I've been lying about getting better too." Matthew didn't pull his hand away. In fact, he grasped it. "The nightmares just keep getting worse and worse. I barely sleep at all anymore. I hate sleeping without anyone else, because I feel like he could just come in a take me."

Gilbert's heart broke hearing the teen talk about how he had been keeping such a deadly secret from everyone.

"If I feel like I'm having a panic attack, I'll run into my room, so no one sees me."

"Matthew, you need to tell them. I think they could help you." Gilbert was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say to get Matthew to tell them.

Matthew had calmed down a bit, and the two continued walking. Gilbert would have loved to get his hand back, but the blond didn't seem to want to left go, or maybe he didn't notice he was still holding Gilbert's hand.

Gilbert wasn't even trying to be back to office in time. They were almost more then an hour late now. There was too point in rushing. Matthew was back to following him closer and closer.

When they finally turned the corner to the office, Gilbert nearly wanted to ran back the other way. Doctor Kirkland was standing outside with a man. There were people waiting outside like a crime scene, or a car accident. As soon as the doctor saw them, he began walking over to them. The Brit looked like he could kill. 'Shit. I'm going to get killed.' Gilbert said horrified to himself.

"I should have you arrested. I told you he couldn't go out, and you kidnapped him, and took him to who knows where." Doctor Kirkland looked like he wanted to snap Gilbert's neck. He tried to find something to say to save himself but nothing came out.

"I had fun, Doctor Kirkland." Matthew said softly from beside him. "But I had something important to tell you." The British man's face changed to concerned. Him and Matthew walked into his office. The other man joined them.

'I guess that's Matthew's brother.' Gilbert thought, standing at the office door. There was a window looking into the office of Doctor Kirkland, but it was soundproof. He watched the faces change and speak. Matthew's face was bare, and it was hard to guess what he was thinking.

It was a while until they emerged from the office. The blond man walked over to Gilbert, who was still sitting out there.

"Um...hey. I'm Alfred, Matthew's older brother. I don't believe we've met." The young man shook his hand. Alfred and Matthew did look similar. The older brother was a bit taller, and more muscular. He also had a happy-go-lucky sprit about him

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Gilbert." He didn't know why, but something about Alfred made him nervous.

"My brother likes being friends with you. Thanks for taking him out to cheer him up. If you ever want to take him somewhere again just ask me, so that way Arthur doesn't get all mad again."

Matthew came up from behind his brother. The expression on his face was hard to pinpoint. He seemed happy, but his face was red like he had been crying. Doctor Kirkland looked concerned as he was on the phone.

"Doctor Kirkland is calling the police, who are going to try about find out where the letters are coming from. He wants all the letters too." He said quietly, still looking at the ground."

"Well, hopefully this will help." Alfred said, patting Matthew on the back. "And if you need anything bro, tell me." Matthew shyly smiled. "You'll help him too, wont you Gilbert?" The older blonde teen shot him a 1000-watt smile.

"Um…yeah, of course."

Gilbert sat in the restaurant with Francis and Antonio. He was tired, it was barely even late, but Gilbert felt like he hadn't slept in days. The events with Matthew had made him think. He had told his two friends about it, and they now sat in silence.

"Poor kid. How long was he keeping the secret?" Francis asked finally, breaking the silence.

"I don't know, a few months I guess. He said he's been getting letters since his birthday." Gilbert wished he could drink to get his mind off Matthew, but the three of them still couldn't drink legally

"It's just…the look in his eyes when he thought it was Ivan. It was heartbreaking. He's so young and, he's been thought so much." Matthew's crying face played back in his mind. Gilbert just wasn't sure what to do.

Alfred had made pancakes for Matthew when the two got home. They sat down and watched one of Matthew's favorite movies.

"Ya know Matthew, you can tell me anything. I just want to help you get better." Alfred said thoughtfully.

"I know." The young teen smiled shyly up at his brother. As the movie started, the two remained quiet, but Alfred tried a few more times to get Matthew to talk. He gave up and simply watched the movie. Afterwards, Alfred let his brother sleep in his bed with him once again, along with the polar bear that's name Matthew always seemed to be changing.

To be continued

Author's note

**Sorry this one is kind of short and not a lot of things are happening. XD School starts next week for me so updates wouldn't be as soon as they have been but I'll still be writing. **

**If you like PruCan I'm also writing another story called "Come down and Play" you should go check it out. : ) **

**Thanks for reading.**


	5. Chapter 5

Sunflowers Out In The Open

**Sequel to "Sunflowers in a box"**

**Summary- Gilbert has never felt responsible for anything in his life, even his own little brother. But when he gets stuck making friends with the victim of a cruel man, he may just have to change his act. And Matthew, who is scared his ex-captor will return for him at any minute, lives his life pretending day by day that he's getting better, when in reality, it isn't getting any better. The two will find that each other's life affects the other. **

**Rating-T+**

**Pairing- PruCan. RusCan on the side**

Chapter 5

Gilbert got to the office right on time. But when he got to the room Matthew was always in, the blond wasn't there. He looked around the office area and didn't see him anywhere.

Worried, he went to Kirkland's office to see if he knew anything. Entering the room, he found the doctor sitting at his desk reading papers. There were a least fifteen letters on his desk. Arthur looked stressed out. He threw a letter down.

"The police let me see the letters." He put his hand to his temple. "They…are incredibly violent and troubling. Most of them detail horrible things that I can only believe is this sick bastards way of reminding Matthew how much him **'****l**oves'him. I'm not surprised Matthew was worried. This is disturbing to read."

Gilbert sat there for a moment, picked up a letter and began reading the fine handwriting.

_Dear мой подсолнечника,_

_I'm still unable to take you home yet. But no worries I have ways of watching you. I know you don't believe the things these horrible people tell you. You still love me, I know it. _

_I was on a train today and saw someone with your blond hair. It reminded me of you. It made me think of how you looked when your hair was wet or how you looked lying underneath me. I remember your voice and whispers, your adorable moans. I can't wait to have you back in my arms again. I wish to hold you again. I love you and you love me. When I take you this time, you and I will go to a place where no one will ever find us. We will live a perfect life, just the two of us. Be patient мой подсолнечника._

From your dear Ivan

Gilbert hadn't really thought about the horrific person that had taken Matthew, but now he was sure he had never hated anyone more in his life. What kind of person does this to a good kid like Matthew?

"So what are you guys going to do about this?" Gilbert asked the doctor.

Arthur just kind of stared at him. "I don't know. The police haven't had any leads on where the letters are coming from. They aren't sure if it's Ivan himself leaving the letters, or someone in his gang doing it as a favor." He sighed. "There aren't any prints on any of the letters either. The police are going to patrol around Matthew's brother's house, but if what they said about Ivan is true, I don't think it'll help."

"Why? How crazy is this guy?"

"They're still finding people he's killed before. At this moment he's murdered about 15 people, and those are only the one's that have been found. There's no telling how many haven't. Not to mention he has a long list of gang crime. He's been said to have so much power in Russia that he just walked by the police covered it blood and still got away."

Gilbert felt like they were talking about a character in a gang movie, not a real person.

"Matthew is in one of the examination rooms. Doctor Elizaveta is checking him out. I always have her do a checkup after he has a panic attack. Room 18." With that, Gilbert walked down the hall.

"Yo, Matthew, sorry I had a hard time finding you..." Gilbert stopped in the middle of his sentence though. He wasn't looking at Matthew, but at the woman standing next to him.

"Gilbert…?"

"Elizaveta?"

Matthew turned around to look at him. "Oh, hey Gilbert!" He said with a smile, but stopped when he saw the look on Gilbert's face.

"Well, it's been a long time since I've seen you. When Mattie told me about his new friend, I didn't imagine it would be you." Elizaveta said with a cheerful smile. "It's nice to see you again Gilbert."

Gilbert just stood there. 'Don't say anything stupid, don't say anything stupid.' He thought loudly to himself. "Um…Yeah. It's great to see you too." He felt his face get red.

"Well, You're all done Matthew." The blond jumped off the chair he was sitting on

"I never thought you'd be one to volunteer Gilbert." Elizaveta said with a laugh. "But you and Matthew seem to be good friends."

Gilbert stood there stupidly. "Um…Yeah."

When him and Matthew left the room, Gilbert was still trying to find words.

"Where did you know her from?" Matthew questioned.

Gilbert took a deep breath. "We went to the school together all of our lives. I kind of picked on her all the time."

"Why did you pick on her? That's mean." Matthew said with a frown.

"Well…I had a crush on her."

"Why would you be mean to her if you had a crush on her?" The blond's face looked confused.

Gilbert sighed. "I was a dumb kid. I didn't realize it 'till I was older." The two had returned to their room, and sat down on the couch.

"Did you ever tell her?"

The older teen ran his fingers through his white hair. "No. In high school, I was going to tell her at the school dance. I had this big plan. But when I asked her, she told me she couldn't go because she was graduating before that and leaving school. Before I could tell her how I felt she left." He stopped talking for a moment. "Then a while after that, I found out she got married to some rich musician jerk."

Matthew stared at him in a weird way. Gilbert tried to place the emotion on his face. Suddenly the teen took his hand.

"What does love feel like?" He asked quietly.

Gilbert was shocked! Why would he ask that? He wasn't sure what to say back.

"Um…I'm not sure what you mean, kiddo."

"What's it feel like to be in love?"

Gilbert just kind of stared off for a minute, not sure what to said.

"I've never really been in love…I just had a crush on Elizaveta. It's not the same thing."

Matthew only looked more confused. "Oh…okay."

"I guess it feels like your chest is getting tight, and your heart starts beating fast, and you say and do stupid things without thinking." Gilbert felt himself babbling and stopped when he saw the unnerving way Matthew was staring at him.

"Does it feel good or is it scary?"

Gilbert sat and thought about it. "No…I think it kind of feels like both. Like it hurts, but it a good way or something." He realized how stupid he sounded. "Why do you ask?"

"I didn't know. I was just thinking."

That night was one of the first nights in a long time Gilbert didn't go out with friends. He went home and ate dinner. He couldn't get Matthew's questioning face out of his head. The blond kid's face played back and forth in his mind.

When he lay down trying to sleep, he wondered if Matthew understood what he said. Gilbert tried to understand how Matthew thought, but it was impossible. The kid had been through so much; he couldn't even imagine what had happened to him in these six years.

He wasn't surprised if Matthew understanding of love was ruined after reading what that monster had written to him.

'Does he know that's not what love is suppose to be?' Gilbert thought to himself. His life had never been easy, but it definitely wasn't anything like Matthew's. He wanted to help the kid have a new life, but he wasn't sure where to begin.

To be continued

**I know it's other boring chapter, but next chapter is one of the ones I've been looking forward to writing. These are going to be more drama filled and stuff, so I'm looking forward to it. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Sunflowers Out In The Open**

**Sequel to "Sunflowers in a box"**

**Summary- Gilbert has never felt responsible for anything in his life, even his own little brother. But when he gets stuck making friends with the victim of a cruel man, he may just have to change his act. And Matthew, who is scared his ex-captor will return for him at any minute, lives his life pretending day by day that he's getting better, when in reality, it isn't getting any better. The two will find that each other's life affects the other. **

**Rating-T+**

**Pairing- PruCan. RusCan on the side**

Chapter 6

_Matthew was sitting in the Clinic. He wasn't sure why, but there was no one around. The whole building was empty. _

_Matthew was completely alone. _

_He tried to remember why he had come to the office in the first place and why there wasn't anyone there. He went to the door but it didn't open. It __was __locked. But what scared Matthew was the fact there was snow on the ground outside. Nothing but snow, nothing but snow. No trees, no houses, no cars. Just white snow._

_The office became very cold quickly. A bone-chilling freeze filled Matthew to the core. He noticed in the reflection of the door that he was wearing something around his neck._

_Ivan's necklace…_

_Matthew backed up, filled with fear. He ran to the Arthur's office but the door was now locked. He frantically tried to open it, but nothing worked. _

_He heard loud heavy footsteps coming down the hall that sent fear flowing though him. He began to try and find somewhere to hide. Anywhere! _

_But before the __blond__e could find a hiding spot, an icy hand grabbed his. Matthew didn't even turn around before the hand slowly began to creep up his arm. _

"_I've missed you_ _мой подсолнечника." _

_Ivan kissed his cheek and neck. Matthew tired to pull away, but he couldn't move. The room around him began to spin. _

"_Let me go! Ivan let me go please!" He cried. The __blonde__ felt the man pick him up._

"_Why? It's time to go home now, мой подсолнечника"_ _he whispered in Matthew's ear. Matthew saw someone standing at the door behind them. _

_It was Gilbert. Matthew yelled out it him, hoping he had some way to get in and help him. But he just stood by the door like he couldn't see Matthew and Ivan inside._

"_Don't worry мой подсолнечника. He can't get to us. You're mine, remember?" Ivan said, as he began to walk in the other way. He watched, as Gilbert seemed to disappear. Tears started cascading from Matthew's face, as he still yelled out to Gilbert. _

_The hallway got darker and darker until Matthew couldn't see anything. He felt himself being put down on the ground. He felt Ivan's hands all over him. He wasn't even sure where, it seemed like they were everywhere. Matthew tried to push Ivan off of him but he couldn't. _

"_Welcome back мой подсолнечника." _

Matthew woke up screaming and crying.

It was 2 in the morning and the house was quiet. Unable to go back to sleep, the teen simply sat there crying, trying not to wake his sleeping brother.

He wondered if someone could see him. Matthew almost felt eyes burning into him but he didn't dare looked out the window. He wasn't ready to know what monster was out on the streets at night.

Gilbert would never tell anyone how much he had come to like Mondays. Now they were the beginning of another week with Matthew. He had started to really enjoy his time with the blonde kid and almost hated the two boring days without him.

He of course, would never tell his friends this. Enjoying the forced community service with some kid with social problem wasn't the coolest thing to do.

But when Gilbert made it to Matthew's room at Kirkland's office, something wasn't right.

He looked through the window in the hallway into the small room, and Doctor Kirkland was there standing over Matthew.

Matthew didn't seem to be responding at all. He was just sitting there as the doctor tried to talk to him. Kirkland shook his head, and walked out. As he stepped out of the door Gilbert stopped him.

"Hey, what's wrong with him? He looks upset or something."

Doctor Kirkland just looked at him. "Alfred said he woke up to him crying in bed last night. He said he wasn't sure how long he had been awake or why he was crying, just that he wouldn't talk about it." He patted Gilbert on the shoulder. "If I were you, I'd just let him come to you today. He's really shaken up."

As Gilbert walked in the room he could tell Matthew was crying and shaking from the other end of the room. He walked over and sat at the table with him. He saw Matthew's eyes were red and glossy. The teen's face was all pink as well.

"Hey buddy…" He said stupidly. Gilbert had never really done anything to someone who was crying. Which Matthew indeed was? He was trying not to show his face to Gilbert.

"Hey. Stop that. Crying isn't awesome. I waited all weekend to see you, and I didn't want to have to hang out with you crying. Get it?" He said picking up Matthew's arms, stopping him from hiding. "So stop it." He pouted.

Matthew stayed quiet for a moment. "You've really been waiting all weekend to come see me?" He asked softly.

Gilbert laughed. "Yeah, of course. I like hanging out with you Mattie."

He slowly stopped crying and Matthew's faces lighten. "Thanks Gilbert."

Gilbert noticed how dark the circles around Matthew's eyes were. And the two went along with their day of hanging out, and Gilbert helping Matthew with his tutor work.

It was late. The big clock on the front office wall read eight. Gilbert usually waited with Matthew for Alfred to come pick him up, but today it was getting really late. He noticed Doctor Kirkland walking in out of his office.

"Well, your brother just called me. He's running late. He said he still won't be getting off for another hour or so. I'm not sure what to do since I have a meeting to go to downtown." Arthur seemed to be thinking out loud to himself more than talking to them.

Gilbert spoke without thinking. "I can take him back to my place 'till his brother can pick him up. I don't mind." Gilbert wasn't sure what came over him at this point, but Doctor Kirkland stopped and thought about it.

"That would be the best plan. I'd take him myself but I don't have time and I don't want him alone at home." He pulled out his phone. "I'll tell Alfred you're taking him to your house."

The drive home was strange. Gilbert had never been a safe driver, but found himself obeying all the laws with Matthew in the seat next to him.

Honestly, what was he thinking? Matthew shouldn't be in his house. The blonde was used to a nice apartment in the good part of town, not the dumpy little place he shared with his younger brother.

He hesitated to open the front door when they got there, with Matthew standing beside him. 'Did I do the dishes last night or did Ludwig?' Gilbert quickly thought about ten or so things he should have done around the house.

"Gilbert, can we go in now?" Matthew asked.

"Yeah."

Gilbert opened the door to enter. "Hello, I'm home." He stepped into the small apartment. They walked to the kicken where a smaller man was cooking at the stove, with much larger blond man standing around him. It looked like the blond was trying to clean up after him.

"Um...hey guys...this is Matthew. He's going to be staying for dinner. Mattie, this is my bro Ludwig, and Feliciano,… his friend." Gilbert said

The brunette skipped over to them and shook Matthew's hand warmly.

"It's nice to meet you, Matthew. Gilbert's told us a lot about you."

Matthew's face turned pink and he struggled to find even a hello.

"Dinners going to be ready soon." He said to Gilbert.

"Okay, come on Matthew. We can go wait in my room." He said nervously. His room was the worst in the place, but he didn't want to force Matthew to stay in the kitchen area. Gilbert knew he was nervous about meeting new people. He walked Matthew to the last door in the hallway.

Gilbert's room was worse than Alfred's. There were clothes and beer cans scattered around the floor, along with magazines and papers. But next to the unmade bed was a small cage. Matthew looked into it to see a small, yellow chick.

"I found him a while ago, out on the streets. His name's Gilbird." Gilbert said with a smile, walking up behind Matthew.

"He's cute." The blond said, still looking at the small bird chirping about.

"Yeah, I wish I could let him out more, but our landlord doesnt want us to have pets, so if he sees him, i'll have to get rid of him. Do you want to hold him?" Gilbert asked. Matthew's face lit up with excitement.

"Can I?"

Gilbert took the chick out of the cage, and placed the yellow thing into Matthew's hands. The bird chirped and quickly hopped up Matthew's arm.

"Look, he likes you." Gilbert laughed as little Gilbird hopped up onto Matthew's head, and tried to nest there. Matthew looked up, face lighlty pink.

"Gilbert, dinner." A voice called. Gilbert took the chick, and put him back in the cage.

"We better wash our hands, Ludwig always bothers me about it." He said, helping Matthew up.

Gilbert tried hard to keep the conversation light, and hoped nothing would set Matthew's nerves off. He wondered if the food was strange to the blond. At first, Matthew just kind of stared at the plate of pasta for a while, then he finally ate some. After that, he seemed fine with it. In fact, he seemed pretty happy with it.

"Woah now Matthew, slow down. You act like you've never had pasta before." Gilbert said, almost laughing. But then Matthew looked up with a face that was easy to read.

"I haven't."

Gilbert was sure he heard the short Italian drop his fork. The reaction seemed to surprise Matthew.

"I mean…Alfred usually brings me dinner. He doesn't really have time to cook for me. So he usaully brings us take out, or fast food, or he'll make us some pancakes."

'That figures, Alfred is busy at work, teaching students. Of coruse he wouldn't have time to cook…' Gilbert continued to stare at Matthew. 'I wonder how much Alfred doesn't have time for.'

Gilbert's thoughts were inteupted by Feliciano. "That's horrible. Gilbert, you must bring him over more often so he doesnt have to eat that awful fast food all the time!" He begged.

"Yeah, of course. You wouldn't mind, right Matthew?"

Matthew's face turned slightly pink. "Yeah…sounds like fun."

After dinner, Gilbert and Matthew settled down on the old couch, and started watching T.V. Gilbert kept checking his phone for Alfred to call. It's not that he wanted Matthew go, but it was getting late. He turned to look at Matthew, who was casually watching the screen.

"I'm going to take Feliciano home." Ludwig said, walking out with the Italian, his arm connected to the blond's.

"Okay, have fun." Gilbert said. His brother's face seemed to ask quietly how much longer Matthew was going to stay, but Gilbert didn't have an answer.

The apartment was pretty quiet aftet that, with only the t.v noise in the background. Before Gilbert knew it ,there was a small tap at his shoulder.

Matthew had fallen alseep, and had moved to lean on him.

For some reason this made Gilbert panic. And as if someone knew, Gilbert's phone buzzed.

"Hello?" Gilbert tried to keep his voice down, hoping not to wake the sleep teen.

"Hey, Gilbert? It's Alfred. I'm just leaving now. Sorry, I'm so late. I'll be there soon. How's Matthew? Can I talk to him?"

Gilbert had to pause to recover from being bombarded with questions.

"Um…yeah, but he's asleep right now…do you want me to wake him up for you?" He asked, unsure what to do. He heard Alfred pause.

"Wait…he's asleep? Like really asleep?" He sounded as if that was odd.

"Yeah, he's just kind of asleep." Gilbert started panicking again. 'Was I not supposed to let him sleep?' He thought wildly.

"Wow. He hasn't been sleeping at all here…you know what…let him sleep." Alfred said. "I don't want to wake him. Do you mind if he just stays there for the night?"

Gilbert once again answered without thinking. "Yeah sure…I don't mind."

Alfred's thanks and good bye was clouded by thoughts of 'Why the hell did you do that?'

He put his phone down and looked at Matthew, who was still fast alseep.

"What am I going to do with you?"

When Gilbert decided he was going to move Matthew to his bed, he was worried about waking the sleeping blond so he wasn't sure if he should. But after a few moments of debate, he gently stood up, and then picked Matthew up.

Matthew was a lot lighter than Gilbert thought he would be. Gilbert walked slowly to his room and gently placed Matthew on his unmade bed.

And then Gilbert just stood there and stared.

"I can't let him sleep with a sweatshirt and pants, he'll get way too hot." He said to himself.

Now came a bigger problem, getting the red sweatshirt off of Matthew without waking him up.

It was a pullover, and Gilbert wasn't sure where to start, so he just decided to gamble with it. He pushed the teen up and laid Matthew on his chest as he slowly pulled the sweatshirt over his head.

By some miracle, Matthew didn't wake up.

"Wow, kid you sleep like a rock." He said thowing the sweatshirt on a chair. He stood there for a minture, happy with what he had done,untill…

"Now, where am I going to sleep?"

Gilbert had chose just sleeping in the bed with Matthew. He tried to stay as far as possible from him, but the bed was so small Gilbert could feel Matthew breathing.

Somehow it was almost nice. Gilbert hated to admit it, but it was hard not to look at Matthew.

'He's so cute when he's asleep.' he thought.

Gilbert quickly shook the thought out of his head, and joined Matthew in a happy slumber.

**To be continued.**

**Author Note:**

**This is my favorite chapter so far. 3 I love this one. **

**Hope everyone likes it too. **

**Lots of thanks to my beta, Chemichal, on this one.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Matthew knew something was wrong when he didn't wake up to the smell of pancakes cooking.

Alfred always made him pancakes in the morning to wake him up. But the smell wasn't there. Instead there was a different smell filling the house. Matthew couldn't place the type of food it was.

The next thing Matthew felt that was off was the sheets of the bed, which weren't the plush kind he had back in his room with Alfred.

Had it happened? Did Ivan finally come and take him away; in his sleep no less? The unfamiliar room started slipping around him as Matthew felt his chest tighten. He couldn't see or hear anything. The whole room was disoriented.

'Why, why now?' Matthew thought, his breath beginning to leave him. The thought of going back to his old life with Ivan made him sick. 'I'll never see Gilbert or Alfred or Dr. Kirkland again.' Big tears rolled down his face as he started to sob loudly.

He suddenly heard steps outside the door. Matthew thought his heart had stopped as the door opened. Matthew covered his ears and face, and began to scream.

He would do anything for more time. More time with his brother, more time to be free, more time to be with Gilbert...

"Matthew?"

Gilbert found the teen, curled up in his bed. Sobbing and breathing deeply, Matthew had started screaming when Gilbert entered the bedroom.

He rushed over to the blond. "What's wrong? What happened Matthew?"

"No no no no. Please, I want more time. Ivan please, I don't want to..." Matthew was just whispering and crying, trembling all over. "I don't want to... I want to go home, please Ivan."

'Ivan?' Gilbert thought. He grabbed Matthew's hands, trying to calm him down.

"Matthew, Ivan isn't here. You're with me. I'm going to keep you safe." He took a gamble and wrapped his arms around Matthew, cradling him gently. "It's okay you're safe."

Matthew continued to sob. It seemed his mind had gone somewhere else. He continued to whisper. "Please, Ivan. Don't."

"Matthew, listen to me. You're safe, you're at my house. Ivan can't get you here. I promise."

After a moment, Matthew seemed to calm down. Gilbert and him sat there for a while. Matthew's sobbing had stopped, and he was no longer whispering.

"I'm sorry, Gilbert. I didn't mean to freak out." Matthew said in a soft voice, his head resting on Gilbert's chest.

"It's fine. I should have realized…" Gilbert stopped. He didn't want to make Matthew feel like a sick freak by saying he had to treat him differently because of his disorders. "Hey, breakfast is going to get cold. Let's go eat."

Matthew and Gilbert walked to the kitchen table where Gilbert had cooked some bacon and eggs. Gilbert noticed how the teen stared at the food like it's was alien and mentally made himself a reminder to get Matthew out more.

"What is it?" He asked. Gilbert almost smacked his head against the wall.

"What is it? It's bacon and eggs! Have you never had bacon and eggs?" Gilbert asked incredulously, wanting to shake the deprived boy. "That is it! I'm taking you out more! You need to eat more then just pancakes!"

Matthew laughed, and as he was about to take a bite, he asked, "Do you have any maple syrup?"

Gilbert gave him the syrup without thinking, but was shocked when Matthew poured the sweet liquid all over both the eggs and bacon. Gilbert watched in slight horror.

Matthew didn't seem to notice as he took a bite out of the sugary mess.

"I'm…going to go feed Gilbird. After you're done eating, we can go."

Matthew responded with a happy hum.

Gilbert placed the cup of bird feed in the yellow birds cage and shut the small door. Gilbird chirped at him as he left the room.

As he was returned to the kitchen, Gilbert noticed that outside the window, a strange black car was parked on the street. The car was running, but was stopped in front of the apartment.

It was too fancy to belong to anyone who lived in the cheap apartment community. The windows were tinted, and hid the drivers face. Gilbert stared at the car for a moment. Suddenly, the car pulled away.

'What was that all about?'

Gilbert drove Matthew back to Alfred's apartment. He was waiting at the door, and for a moment, Gilbert thought the blond was carrying a gun with him.

"Hey, how did everything go?" He asked Gilbert upon greeting Matthew.

"Um...well, he did kind of…have a little problem after waking up but I got him to calm down." Gilbert wasn't sure how to feel around Alfred.

"Oh, you're really good at getting Matthew to calm down."

This whole thing was pretty awkward, in Gilbert's opinion.

"Well, I'll be going then…" Gilbert turned to leave. Matthew stopped him at the door.

"You're leaving?" He asked. His eyes met Gilbert's.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Before Gilbert could say anything else, Matthew wrapped his arms around him.

He realized what was going on. Matthew was giving him a hug.

In the last few months, he had never really hugged Matthew, that always seemed illogical with how Matthew was. Gilbert would think that being this close to someone would bring back bad thoughts for Matthew.

But here he was, hugging him. Gilbert had no other choice but to hug back.

When they finally broke apart, Matthew had a shy smile. He looked so cute as he waved goodbye to Gilbert.

Gilbert got back in his car before noticing his face was pink.

"God what am I doing?"

Alfred had never thought much about Matthew's life. He had never thought of anything but the now.

Now, he was living day to day with his brother who wasn't like everyone else. A brother who needed a bit of extra time to learn things, a brother who woke up many times of the night.

Alfred had never thought of Matthew's future. He was fine with taking care of his brother.

But that was before Gilbert.

When Gilbert left and drove away, he noticed how Matthew's shy smile didn't fade as he walked around the house with his stuffed bear in his hand. Alfred found it kind of endearing.

He wondered how Matthew's future would be. And he wondered how a current white haired young man would play into it.

To be continued.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Gilbert sat in his car, unsure what do to at this point. His face was hot as he continued to think about it.

'What's wrong with me?' He thought. 'I'm a 20 year old and I'm sitting here like some silly fourteen year old girl whose crush just talked to her.' He laid his head on the steering wheel of his used car. 'How could this happen to me?'

Gilbert's heart still hadn't stopped beating so fast. His face felt like it was burning. He could almost still feel Matthew's warm hands around him.

'No, no this is wrong.' Gilbert knew what this feeling was, this fluttery feeling. 'This is so wrong, what's wrong with me?'

It wasn't the fact Matthew was male. No, Gilbert had feelings for men before. Hell, he had sleep with a man before too.

It was the fact that Matthew was simply Matthew. The blond teen wasn't a normal seventeen year old. He didn't think like one. He thought more like a child.

Gilbert felt like a creep, falling in love with a child.

But Matthew wasn't a child.

Gilbert would be taking advantage of a boy who didn't get what a real relationship was supposed to be.

He just sat there frustrated, until Francis called, asking if he wanted to go hang out.

Gilbert rubbed his head and stared deeply at his cheese pizza, waiting for his friends to call him a creepy bastard for having feelings for a 17-year-old kidnap victim.

"So…I didn't see what the problem is. There's only a four-year difference between you two. That's less than Romano and me." Antonio said.

"It's not about his age physically. It's like he's mentally a six year old." He said, stressed. "I'm supposed to protect him." He shook his head.

"But you think you love him." Francis said quietly. "You can love someone without hurting them, Gilbert."

The white haired man looked up for a moment. Francis continued.

"Simply because he has suffered abuse, doesn't mean he can't love, or that he doesn't deserve to be loved. Gilbert, it isn't wrong for you to love Matthew simply because he isn't like everyone else. In fact, I think it makes your love for him stronger."

Gilbert just sat and thought about what Francis had said, his face beginning to burn. His jaw clenched, and he looked back at his pizza.

"You haven't been acting like yourself since you started being around Matthew." Antonio said. "You've been skipping out on going out with us. You haven't drank or partied since meeting him. This boy has changed you."

"It's not a bad thing Gilbert. Love does that to people. Love makes you want to be a better person."

"Just shut up the both of you!" Gilbert shouted, standing suddenly. "Just shut up! I don't want to talk about it. I just want it to go away. This feeling isn't right." He grabbed his keys. "See you later." he added gruffly.

Gilbert walked out and kicked a trashcan. His mind was spinning as he drove home. For the first time since he had started talking to Matthew, he pulled a beer out of the refrigerator.

He just wanted to drink enough to stop thinking about it. That's all. It wasn't supposed to be enough to make him pass out.

But it was.

_Gilbert woke up to the sound of wind blowing through the trees and the feeling of grass underneath him._

_He was suddenly looking into the soft eyes of Matthew, who was smiling at him._

"_Hey Gilbert." He noticed Matthew was lying with him on the grass. They were both shirtless. Gilbert sat up suddenly. _

"_Matthew what are you doing!" He gently pushed Matthew off of him. "Why are we shirtless? Where are we?" Matthew giggled and latched onto Gilbert's chest. _

"_Matthew...are you okay?" He asked, as Matthew cuddled up closer. "Isn't it hard for you to be this close to someone?" _

"_No…it's fine. I want to be with you." The blonde leaned in and softly placed his lips on Gilbert's. It was so soft and sweet. He wrapped his arms around Matthew's back. He deepened the kiss. It felt so good. _

_Matthew disappeared in front of his eyes, and suddenly he heard the teen screaming. He was in a dark room. He continued hearing Matthew screaming out. _

"_Matthew!" He ran after the voice. He found Matthew on the ground in front of a man. The man was tall and Gilbert couldn't see his face. _

_Matthew was on his knees begging the man for something. Gilbert ran over to them. _

"_No, Ivan! Please! I didn't!" Matthew's voice was full of fear. _

"_Shut up!" the man slapped Matthew. "You're such a little whore. I should have ended this a long time ago." _

_Gilbert didn't want to hear this go on. He ran at the two._

_Again, the room changed. _

_Gilbert was now handcuffed to a chair in a small room._

"_What's going on?" He asked. There were faceless men in the room. _

"_You sick freak." Their voices spoke together loudly. Gilbert tried to move but couldn't. _

"_What? Why?" _

"_You awful human, how could do that to someone that had been through that."_

"_You're shit." _

_The voice continued to yell at him. _

"_I didn't do anything! I didn't! I don't understand!" _

Gilbert woke up suddenly. He was in his bed, in his room. His brother was standing at the door.

"Good morning to you too." Ludwig said, a cereal bowl in his hand.

Gilbert's mind came back into the real world.

"It's been a while since you drank yourself to sleep." Ludwig said, entering the room.

"What time is it?" Gilbert scrambled out of bed. It was 9:00. He was three hours late. "Shit!"

"I called them and said you were sick." Ludwig sat on the bed and gave Gilbert the bowl.

Gilbert grabbed his head, now noticing the major hangover he had. 'Damn, I forgot how much hangovers suck.' He thought, beginning to eat the cereal.

"So…why'd you think it was a good idea to drink yourself sick?" His brother asked as Gilbert downed the cereal.

"No reason." He lied.

"I know you're lying. Francis called to warn me you would do something like this."

Fuck. Francis really did know him too well.

"This is about the boy Matthew, right?"

Gilbert threw the empty plastic bowl across the room and pulled the covers over his head.

"Why don't you be a good little brother and mind your own business."

Ludwig sighed. His brother was so difficult sometimes. He tried to pull the blankets off.

"I would if I didn't come home to you passed out on the couch with cans of beer all around the living room. Now come out!"

Gilbert groaned. "Shut up! You don't know how I feel! You and Feliciano are the same age." Gilbert put the pillow over his head. "Feliciano isn't the smartest cookie in the jar, but there isn't anything wrong with him."

"Gilbert." His brother looked down at him.

"I'm an awful person."

Ludwig sat closer to him. "No, you're not. Do you think I chose to," Ludwig sighed "Fall in love with Feliciano?"

Gilbert looked up at his brother. "No…I mean he's cute but…really really stupid." He kind of laughed.

"Yeah...remember what you had to do to get me to even ask him out?"

"Yeah, I told you if you didn't, Franicis and I would." Gilbert started to chuckle. "Yeah. I remember how you tackled me to the floor after that."

Gilbert laughed for a moment, remembering that awkward time. It was the only real time Ludwig had ever asked him for help. It was the few times he had felt like an older brother.

"So you didn't choose to fall for Matthew, and I didn't choose to fall for Feliciano. So I guess we're even." Ludwig said looking at Gilbert. "I do think you're being selfish though."

Gilbert pulled the blaket over his face again. "How am I being selfish? I just don't want to hurt Matthew."

Ludwig pulled the blanket off angerly. "Listen to me. You are not doing this to keep from hurting Matthew. You are doing this because you are afraid."

Afraid…Gilbert had never been afraid in his life.

Okay, maybe once or twice.

"How can I not be? I'm such a fuck up. I'm going to let him down, and hurt him. Matthew doesn't need any more pain in his life."

There was silence in the room.

"But what if Matthew does have feelings for you?" Ludwig stood and began to walk out. "I'm leaving now. You should think about this before drinking yourself sick again."

Gilbert sat in his bed and thought about everything, still unsure of what to do.

To be continued.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Gilbert stood outside Matthew's room. He felt bad after leaving Matthew alone to nurse his hangover, and trying to get rid of the unwanted feelings for the young blond. He slowly opened the door, as not to alarm Matthew.

"Gilbert!" Matthew got up and ran to Gilbert. The teen hugged him happily. Gilbert's face turned red and he pushed Matthew away without thinking.

Matthew looked up at him, confused by the refused hug.

"Um…sorry I wasn't here yesterday." He said. "I was sick."

"Do you feel better now?" Matthew asked as Gilbert sat down at the table. Matthew took a seat close to him.

"Better. So what do you want to do today?" Gilbert asked, trying to move away on the couch.

"I think I want to go outside today." He smiled, looking out the window at the sunny grass. Gilbert was about to say okay, until he remembered the dream he had.

"Um…I think we should stay inside, you know, since I'm kind of sick," He said, trying to come up with an excuse.

"Oh, okay." Matthew said sadly. "Maybe we could watch a movie."

"That sounds good, let's do that."?

They watched one of Matthew's favorite animated movies. Everything was peaceful till Gilbert felt something on his shoulder. It was Matthew; he was leaning his head on Gilbert's shoulder. He looked at the blond who seemed relaxed and happy, but Gilbert's heart started to beat hard and his face turned red. He tried to lightly push the teen off, but ended up using too much force. He pushed Matthew too hard, and the teen ended up being knocked onto his side on the other side of couch.

"What's wrong? What did I do?" Matthew panicked, and looked upset. "Did I do something wrong?"

Gilbert felt his heart break. "No, no. You didn't do anything wrong." He wanted to hug the blond and make him feel better, but he didn't want to touch the boy. He didn't know what to do with his feelings.

"Are you mad at me?" Matthew's eyes started to water, tears began to fall. "Do you hate me?"

Gilbert never wanted to punch himself in the face more then what he did now. He made Matthew cry.

He was a bad person.

He made Matthew upset.

Gilbert looked at Matthew who was sobbing now.

"No! I'm not mad at you at all. It's…" Gilbert tried to think of anything to say to explain why was he acting this way. How was he going to explain these feeling and how he didn't want them?

"There's nothing wrong with you," Gilbert finally gulped. "There's something wrong with me." Without thinking, Gilbert turned and ran out of the room.

He stood outside of the office, trying to calm down. He knew he wasn't making anything better by leaving Matthew in there.

"What are you doing out here?"

Dr. Kirkland was standing in front of him, looking unsure on why Gilbert wasn't watching Matthew.

"Um…I...I have a question."

"Oh. Well, I wanted to talk to you about something anyway." Arthur opened the door to his office.

Gilbert sat down, worried about what the doctor wanted to talk to him about.

"Alfred told me about you and Matthew."

Gilbert heart dropped. 'Why would Alfred tell him, we didn't do anything...'

"He said something about Matthew hugging you the other day. Alfred said he's been really affectionate towards you." Dr. Kirkland looked at him.

"Um…" He calmed down a bit. "Yeah, I thought it was weird, since he's been through so much."

"Actually, it doesn't surprise me. Remember, Matthew lived almost 6 years in an environment where physical touching was a normal way to show any form of affection. It's normal that he shows his trust of you by things like hugging and hand holding."

"So you're saying Matthew really trusts me?" Gilbert thought about it. Matthew trusts him. He felt even worse for running away from him.

"I have to go talk to him." Gilbert got up and ran out of the office and to Matthew's room.

The blond wasn't there.

Gilbert looked all around the office and still couldn't find him. His brain was running a mile a minute.

'Where is he?' Gilbert ran all through the building and still couldn't find Matthew.

Gilbert was running to check down another hallway when he noticed the back door was unlocked and open. (

Gilbert's heart dropped. The thought of something, someone coming in and taking the blond scared him so much. It would be all his fault if Matthew was hurt.

He ran outside, looking around the sunny yard.

Gilbert saw a head of blond hair lying in the warm grass. He ran to it, standing in front of the sun Matthew seemed to be bathing in.

"Gilbert…" Matthew started, but Gilbert didn't let him finish. He grabbed Matthew by the collar, picking him off the ground.

"Never! Ever! Scare me like that again!" He yelled. "Do you understand? I was so worried that something might have happened to you." He stopped to breathe, and looked at Matthew.

Matthew was speechless and looked like he would start crying again any moment.

"I can't believe you would do something so stupid. Do you have any idea of how worried you made me?"

The blonde's face was shocked. He had never been yelled at, or at least, not that he couldn't remember..

He felt tears tumble down his face.

Gilbert slowly realized what he had done, as the supposedly sixteen year old turned into a ten year old being scolded. He remembered that Matthew must have never been yelled at or scolded.

Matthew sunk to the ground, drawing his knees to his chin and repeating "I'm sorry," over and over again. (

Gilbert was at a loss for words.

"Look, Matthew. I…" He moved to touch Matthew, but the teen pulled away. "Hey look...I shouldn't have yelled."

He figured Matthew was in a full on panic attack mode after being shouted at.

"Mattie, Mattie. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell." He hugged the blond teen. "I was just worried about you. Please, stop crying"

"You didn't have to yell at me." Matthew whispered. "I didn't do anything."

"I know I…" Gilbert tried before Matthew continued.

"If you don't want to be around me then leave. I can be alone again."

The older teen looked down at the blond, completely shocked by what he said.

"Matthew…"

"If…if you don't like me and you don't want to be my friend, and you're only staying here because you feel sorry me then leave me alone because…" He gulped. "I really like you and it hurts having you around if you don't want to be around me."

Gilbert thought he'd break down looking into Matthew's sad eyes.

"So go. I can be alone again. I don't care. I'm obviously not worth your time."

"Shut up. Shut the fuck up Matthew!" He yelled. The noise made the blond jump. "You have no idea of much I care about you! You have no idea! I lose sleep worrying about you!" Gilbert was raging now. "I want to be around you! Hell, I like being around you more then anyone else!"

"Then why did you run away?"

"I was scared." Gilbert decided now would be a good time to be honest for once. "I'm scared where this is going because I dont think I'm strong enough."

Matthew looked confused. "Not strong enough for what?" he asked.

"To be able to make you happy."

The young blond looked up at him. Gilbert wasn't entirely sure what just came out of his mouth.

"But you make me happy just being with me. Silly." He laughed a bit. "So that's a stupid thing to be afraid of." He patted the spot next to him, hinting for Gilbert to sit with him.

"I don't care how strong you are. Just be with me. Okay?"

To be continued.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Gilbert wracked his brain for what he could do to make it up to Matthew. For about three weeks he tried to think about it.

"Where do people go to have fun?" Gilbert asked his two best friends. "And don't say bar or strip club." He added quickly, before Francis or Antonio could say it.

"How about a movie?" Antonio suggested cheerfully.

"No, that wouldn't work. I don't think it's a good idea to put him in the dark. Plus he may have to sit next to someone he doesn't know. I think that would put him in a panic."

"Yeah…"

The table grew quiet.

"You losers going to order something, or are you just going to take up space?" A short Italian whose expession seemed to be permanantly angry eyed them irratably.

"Antonio could you tell your bitch ass girlfirend that we order the same thing every time, so he should know the anwer and not bother us." Gilbert growled.

"Call me 'Girlfirend' one more time, and I'll kick your ass."

The tanned brunette tried to change the topic. "Lovino, we'll have two cheese pizzas, and some refills would be great."

Lovino glared at them. It was hard to say if it was directed towards Gilbert or Antonio. Gilbert made a face back at him.

Gilbert looked around the small restaurant He noticed newspapers at the stand near the door. He walked over and grabbed one.

The older teen had never really read much of the news, but the front page caught his eye.

Polar bears.

The local zoo's polor bears had a cub recently, and the newspaper was doing an article on it.

Gilbert rembered that Matthew was always reading those nature books on Polar Bears. He had talked to him about it a few times. All Gilbert could remember was the moment where Matthew had gone on and on about the white bears was the look on the face of the blond boy.

It was similar to how Matthew looked while talking about hockey. He looked truly happy, when he talked about these things.

And that's all that Gilbert needed.

He set up everything. He found out when the zoo was generally the least crowded, and bought tickets. It was a weekend, so he wouldn't have to ask the doctor for permission or anything. He told Alfred he wanted to take him out. Alfred agreed

Gilbert went to pick Matthew up at his house at 7:00 a.m. on that Saturday. It was a beautiful day; barely any clouds in the sky, and the weather was perfect.

Matthew walked out of the apartment and down the sidewalk. He opened the car door with a smile. "Hi." he said quietly, still kind of asleep.

"Good morning." Gilbert smiled. He was excited to see Matthew's face. They drove a while until coming to the zoo.

"Have you ever been to the zoo Mattie?" Gilbert asked, putting the car in park. Matthew looked up at the zoo gate in awe.

"No, I don't believe I have." He said quietly. They walked in, and Gilbert was happy to see there weren't that many people there today, as he had hoped. "What do you want to see first?" He looked at Matthew.

"I don't care. What about you?" Matthew seemed too busy looking around to think.

Gilbert and Matthew walked around the zoo, starting at the beginning to look at everything. He was purposely making sure Matthew didn't see any of the zoo signs.

They walked into the enclosed birdhouse; it was full of colorful birds and plants.

"You think Gilbird would like it here?" Matthew asked Gilbert.

He laughed. "Yeah, I bet he'd love it there." Gilbert noticed a little place where one could buy a bit of bird feed. Gilbert bought a handful of it, and passed it to Matthew.

"Here, hold this out and the birds will come to you." He said. Before they knew it, little birds were all around them. Most were small and would eat from Matthew's hand. The blond seemed enthralled by all of the colorful birds.

Things seemed nice and calm until a big peacock flew up and landed on Gilbert's shoulder. "Hey, go away. You're heavy." Gilbert tried to shoo the bird away, but it took one of the nearby workers to get the large bird off. Matthew laughed, but Gilbert remained unamused. As they walked out, the blond was still giggling.

They decided to get lunch after that. There was a little café with small lunches in the zoo. They waited in line; the zoo had become more crowded over time. There were a number of people in the café trying to order. Gilbert remembered how hungry he was when he saw the sandwiches and other things. He hadn't eaten breakfast this morning; he was so preoccupied to even think about it.

When it was Gilbert's turn to order, he ordered a sandwich combo, and when the cashier gave him the tray, without thinking, he began to walk away and find a table.

Matthew looked up to realize Gilbert was no longer next to him. He suddenly began to panic.

"Are you going to order?" someone said behind him. Matthew's heart began to pound.

He started to shake.

"Sir, what would you like?" the casher asked him kindly. It seemed Matthew's brain couldn't make connection with his mouth.

"Um…can I…um…" Matthew's words were locked in his head.

"Can you speak up honey? I can't hear you."

As Gilbert finally found an empty table in the crowded dining area. "Finally, a table. Damn." Gilbert looked behind him. Then he realized something.

Matthew was not with him.

Gilbert dropped the food on the table and ran back to the casher.

Matthew came into Gilbert's line of sight, still standing at the cashier. The older teen realized that Matthew may have never had to order by himself before. The boy looked nervous, and A step away from crying.

"Matthew!" When Gilbert went up to him, Matthew noticed him but didn't look at him. The blond looked at the ground, embarrassed. The cashier looked at him.

"Do you know him?" She asked.

"Um …yeah." Gilbert lightly touched Matthew's arm. "Matthew?"

Matthew seemed to be too scared to move. Gilbert felt so bad leaving him up here. He should know Matthew's panic attacks would come back in a situation like this.

"Hey Do you know this freak?" A man from behind Matthew yelled out. "Some of us want to eat. If the kid can't talk you should take him out of where normal people are."

Gilbert felt his face burning with anger. "Hey, shut up before I put a fist in your mouth." He held his fist up to the man's face, but Matthew grabbed his arm.

Gilbert stopped. "Never mind, come on Matthew." He grabbed the blond's hand, and led him away. He grabbed the plate of food at the table and headed out the door with Matthew.

They walked away from the café to a place where there wasn't that many people. It was the black bear display. They sat on a bench, watching the bears play.

It took a minute for Matthew to calm down and speak.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Gilbert." Matthew tried to block his face with his hands.

"Hey, hey now," The older teen tried to un curl the blond's hands. "There's no reason to cry. Come on."

"I embarrassed myself. Why can't I do anything right?" Matthew mumbled. He didn't want to Gilbert to see his face.

"It's not a big deal, I promise." Gilbert said trying to console the boy. Suddenly, he heard Matthew's stomach growl, and his face turned redder.

"Are you hungry? Here have some of mine." Gilbert passed half of his sandwich to Matthew.

'But it's your food." Matthew said shyly.

"I can share." Gilbert passed Matthew half of the sandwich. They ate quickly for the most part. Matthew still seemed upset from his breakdown, so Gilbert figured now was a good time as any.

"Okay, there's something I want to show you, Mattie!" Gilbert got up and helped Matthew stand.

"What is it?" Matthew asked curiously, and tiny smile coming back to his pale face.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise. Come on, lets go." Gilbert led the teen across the zoo to the place he knew the polar bears were. He tried his best to keep Matthew from seeing any indication that that's where they were going.

They walked into a cool, dimly lit building. There were a few people around, but not enough to worry Gilbert. The two walked down the long hallway. The darkness, he thought, would bother Matthew, but the blond seemed okay.

"What's in here, Gilbert?" Matthew looked around, excited since Gilbert seemed to be. His feet stopped for a moment when they reached the end of the hallway, leading to a big open room with a glass displaying the polar bears' area.

"Ta dah!" Gilbert said proudly. He was exited to see Matthew's reaction. He waited.

Matthew walked right passed Gilbert, like he didn't even see him, up to the front of the glass. Gilbert followed him.

"Look, there's a little baby one too." He pointed at the sleepy looking baby polar bear walking about. "He looks like the stuffed animal you have." Matthew's face almost seemed glued to the glass.

"The bigger one reminds me of you." Matthew finally said to Gilbert, smiling.

"What? Why?" Gilbert's face turned red, being compared to Matthew's favorite animal.

"Your hair." The blond reached up and rustled Gilbert's hair. Gilbert thought he felt his heart overflow and burst. The look on Matthew's face just made smile and he couldn't stop.

The two stood there for a while watching the bears. Gilbert found himself going restless; he didn't want to rush Matthew. Most of the people were out of the building now.

"Hey, Matthew, I'm going to go get a drink outside, okay." He placed his hand on Matthew's shoulder, only giving him a nod. "Stay here, alright?" He only got another content nod.

Gilbert walked out of the polar bear cave and to the drinking cart. He couldn't wipe the silly smile off his face as he stood in line.

Matthew stood at the glass, still starting at the polar bears inside. The building was now empty except for him. It was very quiet and calming. Matthew went to sit on a bench where he could still see the polar bears. He was happily watching them when he heard steps coming from the hallway. Matthew felt this heart start to pound. He thought of walking out, but remembered what Gilbert said about staying put.

He was relieved to hear more than one set of footsteps. It was a group of women, barely dressed women with faces painted with makeup. The smell of their perfume filled the building like a cloud. Matthew waned to wrap himself up and disappear. The women were talking in a different language; it sounded familiar.

They gathered at the glass, chatting in their language. They seemed to be having a problem. One walked over to him; Matthew tensed up.

"извините, вы можете сфотографировать нас. Пожалуйста?" She asked.

"Ну, ладно…уверен." The words came out without him thinking. The women posed in front of the glass as Matthew clicked the camera to take a picture. He was hoping the women would leave him alone now, but one asked him another question.

"Вы знаете, русским языком. Откуда Вы узнали его взять?"

Matthew was about to answer when he started to think.

He was sure he didn't know Russian, so why could he understand it?

"Мой подсолнечник."

Matthew suddenly felt his heart was going a mile a minute, and he start to sweat. Matthew's breathing became short and deep. He felt tears well up, and he felt weak as he fell to the ground. Voices rang in his head.

"_Мой идеальный маленький подсолнечник."_

"Stop, stop it," Matthew held his hand out, trying to stop them. The women looked around, confused and unsure of what to do.

Gilbert walked through the entrance with two drinks in his hands. "Matthew, I got us some drinks, lets move on okay…?" As he came closer to the glass, he noticed Matthew on the ground surrounded by women who looked like hookers.

"MATTHEW!" Gilbert ran over, the drinks falling to the floor. "What did you do!" he yelled at the woman.

"Weee…not do anything…he took picture. He start crying." One said in broken English.

Gilbert looked down at Matthew. He was crying on the floor.

"Matthew, are you okay?" Gilbert pulled Matthew's hands from his face. "Matthew, tell me whats wrong?"

The women ran off when Gilbert wasn't looking.

"I don't understand. Why? What's wrong with me?" He was shaking and whimpering to himself.

"Matthew look at me, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Matthew finally brought his eyes to Gilbert's.

"He keeps getting in my head." He sobbed. "He's still there."

Gilbert stopped "Matthew?" He remembered the women's accents sounded like something eastern European; maybe it had set him off. "It's okay, I'm here." He pulled Matthew into a hug. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone."

Matthew seemed to get a hold of himself. He stood up with Gilbert.

"I don't want to be like this any more." Matthew said sadly. "I want to be normal."

"Matthew," Gilbert started. He wasn't sure what to say. He had made a mistake. He gently touched Matthew's shoulder, and the blond made eye contact with him. Gilbert found he was lost in the violet eyes. He didn't notice that Matthew was leaning up to his face. He felt Matthew's hand on his chest.

With the subtleness of a feather, he felt Matthew's soft lips on his, and unthinkingly, Gilbert deepened the kiss. He put his arms around Matthew's waist.

Gilbert had to admit, Matthew was a good kisser. He had never had a kiss like this before. 'God damn, this is good.'

Suddenly they heard a loud tap and pulled apart.

"What the…" Gilbert yelped, surprised. The baby polar bear was up to the glass, staring at them, and banging on it with his over-sized paw. Matthew started to beam with laughter.

"How cute!" He laughed.

Gilbert honestly didn't think the little jerk them was all that cute. He noticed Matthew's face was all red and pink.

"Was that okay?" He asked shyly. Gilbert felt his heart flutter again, and smiled.

"Yeah, yeah it was fine."

After that, they realized how late it was. The zoo was mostly empty when they made their way to the parking lot. Matthew got in to the car sluggishly. Gilbert honestly couldn't keep his face from turning red as they started to leave.

"I had a really fun day today Gilbert. Thanks for taking me."

"No problem, I had fun too." Gilbert still couldn't get rid of the stupid smile as the drove away.

The same women from before were standing in the parking lot as a black car drove up in front of them.

"We did what you told us to do. But he started to freak out and…" The man in the car interrupted them.

"No matter. You did what was asked of you so you're free to go. Your debt has been paid." The man drove on, leaving the women standing there.

"Not too long now, don't worry Мой подсолнечник. It's almost time."

To be continued.

Translation notes

извините, вы можете сфотографировать нас. Пожалуйста: Sorry, you can take pictures of us. Please?

Ну, ладно ... уверен.": Well, okay …sure.

Вы знаете, русским языком. Откуда Вы узнали его взять? You know Russian well. Where did you learn it from?

"Мой подсолнечник": My perfect sunflower.

This is the longest and biggest chapter I've written, so I hope you like it. ^^ I loved writing it.

Sorry it took so long.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The kiss didn't seem to register in Gilbert's mind until later that night as he laid in bed. His eyes shot open.

'Oh my god. I kissed Matthew.' He thought, his face turning red. In fact, it was more like Matthew had kissed him. But that didn't stop Gilbert from thinking about how bad of a decision it was. He could still feel Matthew's soft lips on his that whole night. It kept him up until the sun rose into the sky for a new day.

It was the weekend, which meant Gilbert wasn't seeing Matthew. He had planned a lunch with Antonio and Francis. Gilbert crawled out of bed in time to met them at their usual pizza place.

"So you finally sealed the deal," Francis said to Gilbert as he sat down, not looking up as he checked his phone.

Gilbert's face turned red. "What?"

Both Francis and Antonio chuckled knowingly.

"We figure that due to your face, you at least kissed the boy, right?" Antonio said.

"Of course he did, look at his face; it's written all over." Francis smiled. "You kissed him and you stayed up all night worrying and over-thinking it." He looked up at Gilbert, grinning.

Gilbert sighed. He hated how well his friends knew him. He slammed his head on the table, groaning.

"Why are you so worried? I don't get it." Antonio questioned.

Gilbert sighed deeply. "I don't know what how I feel about him. I mean…"

His two friends stared at each other. "I think you do Gilbert. I think you're blocking it out because you're scared." Francis replied. Gilbert shot up like a bullet at the comment.

"I'm not scared! I'm not scared of anything."

"Except ordering something. Now I'm going to stand here for another five minutes, or are you guys going to order something?" Lovino stood in front of the table, arms folded across his chest, an annoyed look on his face.

"For the last time, we order the same thing every time. Why do you always ask!" Gilbert barked back forgetting his anger towards Francis and Antonio, and moving it towards Antonio's long time boyfriend 

"What's your problem anyway? You look like some street cat ate that bird of yours." Lovino scowled.

"Shut up, don't joke about that."

Antonio spoke up. "Gilbert is having love problems."

"Antonio! Shut up!" Gilbert leaning back in the chair and hiding his face. "Don't go around telling people."

Francis, who had seemed to be in deep thought for the last few minutes, finally looked up.

"You should invite him to join us for dinner. I'd like to meet the kid who's managed to freak you out this way." He smiled.

"Yeah! We could invite Ludwig and Feliciano." Antonio said cheerfully.

Gilbert frowned. "Oh no. No way am I letting him meet you two." Francis and Antonio were his best friends, but no way were they good role models for someone like Matthew to be around.

"Too late, I already texted Feliciano. We'll have dinner at my place. Sound good?" Francis said, ignoring Gilbert's protest.

"Yay! Sounds great. I'll bring Lovino along too. How does six sound?" Both Antonio and Francis seemed exited; Gilbert dreaded there was no way around it. Once they got an idea, there was no stopping them. With a sigh, he stepped out to make the call.

Matthew had stayed home for most of the weekend. Alfred was out doing something for school, leaving Matthew on his own. Tino was across the hall of course, if anything happened. But for the most part, Matthew just sat at home and read or watched a movie.

Alfred had recently given Matthew a cell phone in case of emergencies. He had given his number to Tino, Dr. Kirkland, and Gilbert.

He was lying on the couch watching a colorful animated family movie when his phone rang. It scared him at first; it took a moment for him to answer it.

"…Hello?" Matthew answered, a bit nervous.

"Hey, Matthew? It's me Gilbert. I was wondering if you wanted to come to dinner with me and some friends of mine. Feel free to say no, but..."

"Sure, I'd love to." Matthew's face turned pink when he realized that he didn't wait to hear all of what Gilbert was saying. He heard him sigh.

"Alright, make sure you ask Alfred okay? I'll pick you up at 5:30."

"Okay, see ya." Matthew couldn't stop smiling, even when he called Alfred to ask him. Weekends were always lonely because he couldn't see Gilbert.

Alfred said he could go, but to go tell Tino next door that he was leaving.

Matthew liked visiting Tino's and Berwald's apartment. It always had this nice homey atmosphere, and it made Matthew feel happy.

"Oh, hello Matthew, something wrong?" He asked, as he let Matthew in.

"No. Alfred wanted me to tell you that I'm going out with a friend tonight." Along with the usually inviting apartment, Matthew noticed something odd.

Baby things were lying around, like things new parents would buy.

"Are you guys taking care of a bady?" Matthew asked.

Tino stopped and sighed a little. "Not yet. We're in the process of adopting. It's still going to be some time but..." He stopped and turned to look at the open door of the guest room, where Matthew could see Berwald's large figure building something.

"Berwald has gone a little overboard on buying baby things. I think it's his way of trying to get some of his excitement out." Tino smiled.

Matthew was happy that two were going to be parents. He couldn't think of a better couple.

Matthew moved outside to wait for Gilbert to pick him up. Gilbert's car pulled up a little later.

"Hey." Matthew noticed Gilbert was dressed differently, more dressy and fancy. Gilbert leaned across the car and opened the door for him.

"Hey Mattie." Gilbert smiled as Matthew got it. "Listen if you don't want to eat anything at dinner, that's fine. We're eating at Francis' house and he cooks weird, fancy foods. I know you don't really eat things like that so if you don't want to, you don't have to."

Matthew didn't say anything, he just sat and watched Gilbert talk and run his hand though his hair. Gilbert turned to notice Matthew starting at him.

"Something wrong?"

Matthew's voice kind of wavered. "No…no. I was just…looking at you. You look nice today." He smiled.

Gilbert's face turned red with the compliment. "Thanks…you look cute too. But, you always look cute."

They made it to Francis' house; the house was large and had many windows. Matthew hadn't seen a house this big since he was in...Ivan's mansion.

"Yeah, Francis is what you'd call a trust fund baby. His old man is like a lawyer or something and his mom is like a fashion designer. So he's super rich."

When the two moved up to the front door, Gilbert knocked.

"Okay, my friends are kind of odd and if they say anything weird just ignore them." Gilbert said to Matthew, looking him in the eye. Matthew laughed a bit.

A thin blond man dressed in a expensive looking suit answered the door with a charming smile. "Glad you made it, Gilbert." His eyes trailed to Matthew and he smiled. "This must be Matthew." Matthew shyly smiled back.

"Hello." He whispered softy. Francis walked the two inside the huge house.

"Gilbert's here everyone!" He announced as they entered the living room.

"Matthew! It's nice to see you again." Feliciano ran up and wrapped Matthew in a hug. The blond boy was a little put off, but he returned the embrace.

"It is nice to see you too." Matthew smiled back kindly.

"Matthew, you've met Feliciano and Ludwig." Gilbert moved to Antonio and Lovino. "This is my friend Antonio. And that is his boyfriend, and Feliciano's older brother, Lovino."

"Gilbert, Francis and I have been friends since we were like six. Haven't we?" Antonio smiled.

"Yeah, we met in class and that's where we started being the biggest trouble makers in the town." Gilbert laughed "We used to get in to so much crap."

"Used to." Lovino rolled his eyes.

"Antonio's family was working together with Feliciano's at their restaurant so we've known that brother since they were babies. That's how Ludwig met Feliciano. I brought Ludwig over when Antonio was watching Feliciano and Lovino. So Ludwig and Feliciano became close friends." Gilbert expanded to Matthew.

"Ludwig didn't realize he was in love with Feliciano 'till they were in high school!"

Francis popped in. "Dinner's ready." As everyone walked in to the dining room, Gilbert lightly touched Matthew on the arm.

"Remember what I said, if you don't want to eat anything, don't feel like you have to. Okay?" Matthew didn't seem to listen once they made it to the dining room. For Gilbert, it was a little too fancy. He was never a fan expensive things, so he found Francis' style a bit stuffy.

As they sat down to eat, Gilbert kept sneaking peeks at Matthew's face to see how he was reacting. Feliciano was talking a mile a minute to him. He had just realized that Feliciano, Ludwig and Matthew were around the same age. Gilbert had a hard time imagining Matthew as a normal high student. He felt bad for that.

Francis leaned over to Gilbert and started whispering in his ear.

"I see why you like him." The blond man smiled. Gilbert's ears turned red.

"What are you talking about?"

Francis laughed. "I know why you like Matthew so much." Francis was the only one out of the three of them who was going to college. He was studying to be a relationship therapist, and because of this, he tended to bring his studies out of class by over-analyzing his friends.

"Oh? And why's that?" Gilbert asked, amused.

"Well, you've never really had any one to take care of. You never had a something you really needed to protect, or something had relays on you. But Matthew does. You're attracted to that in him."

Gilbert fell silent. Francis continued. "It's not a bad thing, Gilbert. People have different reasons to fall in love. He calms you down and gets you to see things you normally wouldn't." He grinned. "You're like a big bad alley cat and he's like some hurt lost kitten. Your instinct to protect and love him is stronger then your instinct to be a dick." Gilbert's eyes fell on the blond teen in front of him.

He was happy to see that Matthew seemed to be happy and eating well. He seemed to be having a good time.

As the night went on, the group laughed and played games. It was getting late, and Gilbert figured he'd take Matthew home before the alcohol came out.

"Come on Mattie, it's getting late. I'm going to take you home." Matthew just smiled and nodded. He seemed sleepy, so it was the perfect time to go home.

They walked out of the house Gilbert asked "So did you have fun?"

"Yeah…It was a lot of fun." Matthew said quickly as he opened Gilbert's car door. "Your friends are a lot of fun."

Gilbert smiled but before he got in the drivers seat, he noticed a car. Expensive looking and black, parked up a few houses ahead. It was parked on the side of the road. It was obviously on as well.

Although a rich looking car like that would be normal on the upper class road, Gilbert thought he had seen it before. He curiously started towards it.

The closer he got, he suddenly remember the car parked outside his apartment and if he believed he had even seen it at the doctor's office once or twice. He was merely feet away from the car when Matthew rolled down the window.

"Gilbert, Alfred just texted me. He wants to know when I'll be home." Matthew yelled with his head outside of the car window. Gilbert turned to look at Matthew. As he did, the car backed up and started away. He still didn't get a look at the driver but he was completely sure he had seen the car multiple times before.

He couldn't get Francis' words out of his head as he drove Matthew home. When he pulled up to Matthew's apartment, the blond leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Um…there's something I want to show you tomorrow, okay?"

To be continued

**I'M SO SORRY. I know I haven't updated at all this summer. I've been in a bit of a writing block for a while so this chapter took a while.**

**We're getting closer to the end. ^^**

**Hope you enjoy it. **


	12. Chapter 12

hapter 12

When Gilbert got to the center on Monday, Matthew shyly asked Dr. Kirkland if they could go to the park. After Dr. Kirkland's affirmation, they started to walk across the street to a small park that was in between the center and a bunch of apartment buildings, one of which was Alfred and Matthew's home.

Gilbert noticed Matthew was oddly quiet today. After informing Gilbert that he wanted to show him something, the older boy had done nothing but sit up all night, and think about all the different things Matthew could be showing him...

The park was empty from the most part, since it was still early in the day. Matthew stopped and turned to face Gilbert. He had something in his hand.

"I've never let anyone see this. And I didn't know what to do." He held out his hand to show a small necklace. It was in the shape of a sunflower, and on the back of it was a language Gilbert didn't know.

"What is this?" He looked at Matthew, who seemed to not want to look at him.

"It's a necklace Ivan gave me. Before I was rescued; it was a gift"

Gilbert looked up suddenly.

"Matthew why do you still have it?"

His face turned sad. "I don't know...I tried to...but..I-I don't know." He looked lost, almost crying. Gilbert lightly took Matthew's hand.

"Matthew I think you shouldn't have this. It's not healthy."

The young blond looked down, embarrassed "I know!" his face turning to a haunted look.  
>"I've tried to get rid of it, but I couldn't...sometimes my mind plays tricks on me and I'll hear it calling out to me…in the middle of night. It'll tell me things like 'You love him, you have to go home. You're supposed to stay with him forever.' Sometimes I'm not sure if it's a dream or if…I'm crazy." Matthew refused to look Gilbert in the eye.<p>

Gilbert put his hand on Matthew's slender shoulder.

"Hey, I'll help you. This…thing is messing with your mind." Gilbert's eye caught a bridge in the background. "Let's get rid of it so it can't hurt you. I'll do it with you, okay?" Matthew slowly looked up.

"Alright." the small sunflower necklace felt heavy, and like it's was starting to burn his hand.

Gilbert and Matthew slowly walked to the bridge that stood across a river that moved though the park. They stood at the edge of the bridge, looking down from the railing.

Gilbert was worried about Matthew. The way Matthew held the necklace...'Maybe I should leave this up to Kirkland to deal with. What if this isn't the best way to deal with this?" but something inside of him told him that they needed to get rid of this.

"Here, let me help you." Gilbert put his hands over Matthew's and held them over the railing of the bridge. "Tell me when you're ready, and we'll let go."

Matthew stood there shaking for a few moments, staring at his hands. Gilbert wondered if maybe he should back off, 'Maybe this is too much for him.' he thought.

"Gil…you'll stay with me, right?" Matthew asked, barely a mutter.

"Huh? Of course, I'm not going anywhere."

Matthew's worried face changed a bit. "I'm done living like this. I don't want to be afraid, I want to go on with my life…with you." Gilbert's heart started beating fast. "I love you, I think and…I want to get better for you…I want to get stronger for you." Gilbert barely felt Matthew's hands open up, leaving the necklace to fall with a splash into the water. He didn't hear much of anything for a moment. He backed away for Matthew slightly.

The blond didn't notice, he was watching the sunflower float around. "It made a bigger splash then I thought it would." He said innocently.

Gilbert continued staring, feeling his heart in his throat.

"Gilbert? I feel better now. A bit more free." Matthew smiled, looking up at the sky.

"I'm glad." Words finally found their way to Gilbert's mouth. "You want to hang out more here, or go back to office?" Gilbert didn't intend to ignore Matthew earlier words, but it just happened.

"Let's hang out here." Matthew said, beaming. He took Gilbert's hand and began walking in the other direction.

They spent a bit more time in the park. Gilbert noticed that with the pressure of the necklace gone, Matthew seemed to feel more bright, less dazed. Later in the afternoon, they lay on the grass, talking and laughing.

Matthew was going on about hockey and how his brother never shut up while watching movies, and as he talked, Gilbert noticed what Francis said about Matthew changing him might have been right. He had never stopped to notice anyone talking before. But he couldn't take his eyes off of Matthew.

'If this is the true love Francis talks about all the time, I think I get why he's always going on about it...it's an awesome feeling.'

Matthew was very talkative that day, just going on and on. Gilbert just admired him, taking him in.

A few minutes later, they agreed to start heading back to office. Gilbert noticed Matthew didn't seem to want to let go of his hand and to be quite honest, he didn't either.

As they crossed the bridge and left the park, no one noticed another figure following their movements.

A large man walked in an equally sized coat walked to the side of the river, and picked up a small shining object.

"мой подсолнечника, it's almost time to come home." The man sighed and put the necklace in his pocket.

"I miss you so much, and now there is so much work I'm going to have to do to make you mine again."

The figure moved out of the park, and into his black car. He played with the necklace in his pocket.

"It shouldn't be much longer now." A smile crossed his face as thoughts of his flower went through his mind.

Gilbert and Matthew walked slowly into the office, still hand and hand, talking. They didn't notice Dr. Kirkland standing in front of his door, with a stony look on his face.

"Yo Kirkland, sorry we lost track of time. I didn't mean for us to be out so late..." Gilbert started, but the doctor's face didn't change.

"Gilbert I need to talk to you in my office. Alone, _now_."

To be continued.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Gilbert followed Dr. Kirkland to his office in the front of the building. Gilbert was nervous, due to the doctor's serious face.

He sat in the chair in front of the desk. "Listen, I'm sorry about bringing Matthew back late...we lost track of time. It's my fault." He panicked. The doctor pushed a piece of paper at Gilbert.

"Congratulations, you've completed your community service hours. Your services are not longer needed." He didn't look at Gilbert as he said it.

"What?"

"You're done with your hours. Well you've been done for weeks now, and you haven't mentioned it to anyone."

Gilbert had known he had covered his hours a while ago but he hadn't told anyone because he just wanted to keep coming here. He didn't think it would be a big deal.

"Well, I like coming here, so I was just going to keep volunteering." He thought it was as simple as that.

Arthur cleared his throat. "You're not listening. Your service need has been terminated. You no longer can be here." Gilbert did not believe what he was hearing.

"But why? Can't I just sign up again and just do community hours without being forced to by the court?"

"No, because I'm getting rid of your service because of your behavior. There isn't anything else you can do."

Gilbert's head hurt. "What the fuck does that mean? My behavior?" The doctor turned to look at him.

"Your relationship with Matthew has become inappropriate, and a problem. So for Matthew's health, I'm removing you from the situation." Gilbert became enraged.

"How is our relationship a problem? We are friends!" Gilbert stood up, restraining himself from hitting the man.

"Oh, don't give me that. I know what your relationship is. You come in here and you take advantage of a child who has no ability to see your intent, and someone who can not emotionally understand what you are doing. Your involvement with Matthew has been a problem since day one."

"You are fucking crazy! Matthew and I are friends and nothing else. And I'm no problem." Gilbert couldn't hold anything back. "Matthew can understand a lot if you wouldn't treat him like some disabled freak. He wants to live!"

Now Arthur stood up from his chair. "What Matthew needs is to become a healthy and adapted adult, not be dependent on someone? It would be pointless to pull him out of his codependent relationship with one person, just make him dependent on another. He needs to learn to stand on his own."

"DEPENDENT! Matthew is not dependent on me!" Gilbert thought of all the times Matthew reached out to him. 'Was that because he need someone to depend on or...'

"He needs a friend!"

"But you have no intention to stay a friend do you?" Arthur said, his voice changing. "Don't think I don't know that look, you had no intention on being friends today when you took him to the park privately for hours."

Gilbert's ears turned red. "I didn't do anything! I would never do anything to hurt Mattie!"

"You are in over your head, and I need to restore control of Matthew's recovery." Arthur was right in front of Gilbert now. "If I find you anywhere near his house, or if I find out you been talking with him, I will call the police. How do you suppose that would work out?"

Gilbert realized that punching the doctor lights out wouldn't be a good idea; his anger was telling him to just leave now before he gets himself deeper. He turned to leave, but Dr Kirkland wouldn't stop talking.

"I'm not doing this to hurt you or Matthew. But you need understand this is not the time to be selfish. Matthew's needs are the most important thing right now, and what he doesn't need is a relationship like this."

At this point Gilbert didn't want to hear any more, and walked out to his car. He looked up, trying to see past the window to Matthew. His brain hadn't caught up to the idea of never seeing him again.

He would never get to say good-bye...he would just be walking out of his life.

'I have to think of something. But what can I do?' and for the first time in his life, Gilbert felt powerless.

Matthew had been sitting in the room, trying to do math problems while waiting for Gilbert to return. Matthew thought they could play a board game later. He kept looking up at the door, waiting…

But it was taking a long time. That made Matthew worry.

A little while passed and Doctor Kirkland entered the room, but still no Gilbert. Matthew tried to look behind him to see if Gilbert was there.

"Matthew, we need to talk." Doctor Kirkland didn't sound happy but Matthew was too busy trying to see out in the hallway to find where Gilbert had gone. "Matthew look at me."

The blond looked up. "Where'd Gilbert go? We were going to play a game and it's not time for him to go home..." The doctor started to frown.

"Gilbert left, Matthew."

"Okay. Well, he should have said goodbye. I guess we can play the game tomorrow."

The doctor gave him a sympathetic look.

"Matthew…Gilbert isn't coming back. Not tomorrow, not ever. His time at this facility is over. His service is all done."

Matthew stopped. "What?"

"Gilbert was here to do community service hours for a court sentence. These hours were done so he does not work here anywhere. It was time for him to leave."

Matthew put his pencil down. "…That's okay, I'll just talk to him on the weekends. I wanted to go see the polar bears again soon so-"

Dr. Kirkland stopped him by putting his hand on Matthew's arm. "Matthew, you can't do that. Gilbert won't be talking to you anymore, he's work is done."

Matthew refused to look at him, he was starting to mutter. "I know but we can see each other on the weekends when I'm not here. We are friends…you know...so." Tears start welling up in his eyes.

The doctor sighed. "No, Matthew you need to listen to me. Gilbert isn't allowed to see you again. He'll get in trouble."

Matthew stood up quickly. "B-but, Gilbert is nice to me, he doesn't hurt me…why can I not see him? He's my friend!" Matthew was starting to break down. Dr Kirkland tried to get him to sit.

"Matthew, the relationship you have with Gilbert wasn't good. He wanted to be more then friends, you know that…you are not well enough to understand what he wanted."

"I wanted to be more then friends." Matthew said angrily, staring hard at the doctor.

"Matthew, you don't understand what that means. You need to calm down. You'll understand soon that that is not what you need."

"He made me HAPPY. I want to be with him! I've never felt as safe as I do with him." Matthew turned away from Arthur, refusing to look at him.

"Matthew…"

"I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!" Matthew yelled out. Arthur had never seen Matthew break down like this. It wasn't a panic attack; he was just so upset. His face was distorted in anger. "I don't want to talk you."

Arthur knew pressing on would be pointless. Matthew had shut down and would not be opening up until he calmed down.

The doctor figured he could talk some sense into the boy later, or maybe his brother could help. He walked out of the room, leaving Matthew turned silently to the window.

To be continued.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Gilbert sat at the booth of the restaurant not completely processing everything around. Francis finally spoke up.

"So I take it you didn't get much sleep last night then?" He asked.

Gilbert didn't even look up; he slid his phone across the table. The phone blinked a few messages over and over again.

"36 text messages, are they all from Matthew?" Antonio asked, as Francis just stared at the phone.

"Yep, He called a few times too. He left messages on my machine, so I have to delete them…they were hard to listen to." There were dark circles around his eyes.

"Oh god, Do you think he's-"

"No, I don't think he's okay Francis" Gilbert interrupted angrily. "And I don't know what I should do. He kept calling and calling last night and…I couldn't even talk to him. In one of the calls, he's just crying, begging me to pick up and talk to him."

The group grew quiet again.

"I just don't know what to do…"

Alfred was at the end of his rope. His brother just wasn't going to listen to him. He had his door shut, and it wasn't going to open.

"Mattie, please Dr. Kirkland is just doing what is best for you." He stood by the door, his class was going to start in 20 minutes and Matthew showed no signs of moving out of his room.

"Come on, Mattie! You know I have class and you have to go to Dr. Kirkland's. Please Mattie! I have a really important lab today that I can't be late for."

Still nothing.

"Okay Matthew, I've had enough. I'm coming in and getting you." Alfred pulled at the door, which to his surprise, was unlocked/

Matthew was lying on his bed, clutching the white polar bear stuffed animal he had gotten for his birthday. Alfred let out a sigh.

"Mattie…you don't have to talk to the Doctor." he sat on the bed. "I'll even let you take Kumo or whatever. But you can't stay here by yourself and I need to go to school." He pleaded.

"Okay."

Matthew refused to leave his classroom and stayed, for the most part, on the little blue couch. When Arthur came in, Matthew would curl up and pull his hood over his head. The doctor tried multiple times to speak with him but nothing worked.

"Matthew, this is going to have to stop. This can't continue forever."

But the blonde remained where he was, even after the doctor left. He took out his phone to check if Gilbert had sent any messages back.

Hours later Matthew was waiting outside with Doctor Kirkland for his brother to pick him up but it was getting late. Arthur picked up a phone.

"Alfred? Where are you? Oh…no no it's okay. Um…I'll just take him home myself. Yeah. See ya." He hung up and sighed. "He's stuck at the lab, he'll be late so I'm going to take you home." He moved to walk to the parking lot. But again, Matthew didn't move.

"I'm going to walk home through the park." He said it firm and strong for once.

"No! Matthew, are you…ugh." Arthur knew Matthew was just going to be difficult no matter what. He was honestly annoyed with Matthew's behavior lately. "Fine. But go straight though the park." The doctor decided to drive his car to the other side of the park, and make sure Matthew got home safe.

Matthew walked slowly though the park, not really having any interest in hurrying home. Home would just be lonely anyway.

Matthew had never felt lonely. In his memories he never felt like someone wasn't there. Maybe because Ivan was always there, now the caring smile of Ivan's he once thought about was replaced with the new, distorted view of evil in his mind.

The blond put his hands in his pockets. He felt around and found a dollar, and decided to stop and buy a soda at the vending machine. The sun was setting behind him, turning the sky orange. Matthew didn't notice the slow footsteps approaching him steadily from behind.

Gilbert decided he couldn't sit still any longer so he ended up walking around the whole town, and as if he had no other choice, he began walking towards the office. He knew the office was close now, but just looking at it reminded him of Matthew.

He stared up at the dark building. 'Of course, as soon as I found something, anything, that makes anything worth doing, it's taken away from me.' The idea of never speaking to Matthew again just didn't make sense to Gilbert. It was like the boy was air to him; he didn't feel like anything mattered without Matthew with him.

He wanted to hold him, he wanted to kiss him again. All the mistakes he made keep playing in his head.

'Is it really Matthew who needs me or…am I the one who needs him?"

Gilbert stood there as the cars behind him passed, the sun sinking down.

The young man decided that standing there did no better so he turned to go home, taking the back path through the park.

Matthew bent over, slowly picking up the soda can from the machine. The lights in the park popped on one by one.

"Oh мой подсолнечника,"

Matthew's body jerked, as he was caught off guard, and his ears started to ring. Perhaps he was hearing things again. His mind must be playing tricks on him.

There was no way.

"мой подсолнечника, I've missed you."

No, he refused to acknowledge the voice. It had to be his brain running off on him again. The slow footsteps grew closer. The reflection of someone in the machine came more sharply into view.

Matthew's mind must have gotten the best of him...he turned around and felt like his whole new world crashed down at once.

"Ivan…?" His voice didn't even come out. Ivan seemed to be bigger than Matthew remembered. His violent eyes pierced right through his body. Every step closer made Matthew's body shake. The twisted grin made him want to never look up again.

"It's time to go home now. мой подсолнечника," Ivan help his arms open, beconing Matthew to him. "Everything is ready now. Come." He never stopped smiling while speaking these words.

Matthew backed up into the soda machine. "No…no Ivan." He didn't want to. "I want to stay, okay Ivan? I'm going to stay here."

Ivan stopped and stared at Matthew, then started laughing loudly. "Don't be silly. You belong with me remember? So come on along, it's time to go home, silly." Ivan showed no signs of listening to him.

"Ivan… I want to-"

"No мой подсолнечника! You belong to me. You are coming back with me." Ivan's large hand grabbed Matthew's tightly. "Come on now." Matthew tried to pull away oughly.

"Funny. This was the same place I took you home the first time." Ivan said dreamily. He wasn't looking at Matthew. He was looking at the playground ahead of them. "You fought me then too."

Matthew slowly remembered being small at this park again.

_He stood in the cold, waiting for his older brother, who went to play with the other kids. Matthew didn't like the older kids, so he waited at the playground alone. All the other kids went home, cold, but Matthew waited._

_He was sitting on the ground when a taller man walked over to him, staring at him._

"_Hello there, little one. It's cold and lonely out here, isn't it?" the man had a funny accent. Matthew looked up with his oversized glasses._

"_Um…yes it is." His small voice was trembling from the cold._

"_What's your name, little one?" The man asked. Matthew knew he wasn't supposed to talk to strangers but he had waited so long for Alfred, and he was getting sad and lonely. Plus, the man was looked nice._

"_Matthew…" The man smiled down at him._

"_You shouldn't be out here in the cold. You should be somewhere nice and warm. Let me take you somewhere safe."_

"_Um…no…sir…I'm waiting for-" the ten year old's voice didn't work. He know he wasn't supposed to go with people he didn't know. Where was Alfred when you needed him?_

_The young boy didn't see the man slowly take a small hankerchief from his jacket. "No worries my little one. Ivan will take good care of you." Suddenly the large man grabbed the boy, and roughly pushed the hankerchief to Matthew's small face._

_Matthew watched the world disappear around him as his eyes fluttered shut._

Matthew struggled to fight both the flashback and the real Ivan who was grabbing and pulling. Ivan was so much stronger then him, as he pulled the blond to parking lot not far from them. Matthew keep calling out and screaming.

Everything was for nothing. He would never see anyone again.

"Gilbert!"

The white haired young man tried to walk though the park quickly. He knew his younger brother would yell at him later for not telling him where he was. As he walked past the playground, Gilbert noticed something odd on the ground.

A unopened can of soda.

'That's weird. What a waste.' He thought.

He heard a people arguing, and he looked up to see a couple fighting. The larger man looked like he was trying get the other in the car.

'Wow, have your lover's quarrel somewhere else would you?' He thought, rolling his eyes.

But his eye were drawn to the two, and he saw a flash of blond from the other side and suddenly,

"Gilbert!"

The man would know that voice from anywhere in the whole world.

The yell was accompanied by the slamming of the car door. Gilbert didn't process any of it that fast.

It wasn't until he made eye contact with the larger man that Gilbert's brain realized what was going on and the car started.

"MATTHEW!"

And Gilbert did the first thing that came to his mind.

He ran like hell after the same black car he had seen so many times before.

**To be continued **


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

WARNING: This chapter will contain forced and non-consensual sexual action.

Matthew's heart was pounding a mile a minute, completely disoriented by Ivan pushing him roughly in to the car. Panicking, he slid clumsily to the other side of the seat, trying to unlock the car door, only to be pulled back roughly by the large Russian, forcing Matthew's head to rest on Ivan's lap.

"Stop being silly Matvey, come here." Matthew thought for moment that he could call on the driver up front to help him, but he was sure Ivan payed him big bucks to drive them where Ivan wanted and to not get involved

Looking up, Matthew got a better view of his captor. Ivan had gotten bigger, or a least it looked it to him.

Ivan's hand ran down his body slowly, his eyes locked with Matthew's. He stopped around Matthew's stomach, rubbing and touching his belly under his shirt, grinning and giggling.

"You gained a little weight down here, haven't you мой подсолнечника." he groped the small pudge around Matthew's stomach. "It's cute."

Words came out of Matthew's mouth without thinking.

"You lied to me…the whole time." His voice trembled. "Everything; my parents were good people, and I'll never get to see them again..." Ivan's face grew dark, his hands moved away from Matthew.

"I did not. They were bad people who left you out in the cold, and then they tried to take you back from me. I couldn't let them. They had some man try and find you at our home. So I had to stop them, make them leave us alone."

"Ivan…" Matthew's mind made a scary conclusion. "What do you mean? You made them?"

Ivan smiled down at him darkly.

"I found them and made sure they wouldn't come and try to take you away!" His hands began to stroke Matthew's hair.

Matthew couldn't breathe.

"Ivan…did you kill them?"

Ivan's stroking slowed, his eyes up front not looking at Matthew.

"You remember that time I went on a trip when you were smaller? I sent them a letter, telling them where they could met me. I told them if they'd tell anyone I'd never let them see you. I only made it look like a car accident." He stared to chuckle.

"And that woman, she tried to beg for me to not hurt you." He giggled under his breath. "Stupid woman tried to make a deal with me to let you go, she offered me money, even herself, now Matthew, does that seem like a good person? I don't think so."

Ivan smiled. "But no matter, it's all over and we're going home. I know I'm going to have to retrain you and undo all of the nasty things those men taught you, but no matter, everything will be as it should soon."

"Ivan…where are you taking me ?"

"Don't be silly, I'm taking you home of course. Now, we have to make a short stop to meet the car that will take us. Don't worry мой подсолнечника, as soon as we get a chance, we'll play again. I've really missed playing with you…and I've come up with some new games we can play. It'll be fun."

Matthew's chest started to get tight thinking about 'playing' with Ivan again after all this time.

Gilbert didn't care who he bumped into or knocked over. He didn't care about crosswalks either, at this point. He was just running, trying to keep the car in sight. He had called the police and given them the plate number but he had yet to see police cars after it.

He had called Arthur, who tried to talk him in to waiting and letting the police handle it.

Gilbert kept running.

The very idea of Matthew being back in the hands of someone who caused him so much pain made him forget about everything else. At this point, all he could think about was getting Matthew out.

His phone rang and still running he answered.

"Gilbert, the police are tracking the car using Matthew's phone. Please for god's sake, STOP FOLLOWING THE CAR!" came Arthur's stressed yell at the other end.

"No…I can't I have to-"

"GILBERT! LISTEN TO ME. Ivan has killed 19 people, he will not even think about it, he will kill you. Do you want the last time Matthew sees you to be Ivan ending your life in front of him?! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE CAN DO! STOP FOLLOWING THE CAR FOR BLOODY HELL'S SAKE."

On Arthur's end, he heard a slight beep, until he realized Gilbert had ended the call.

"God damn it, he hung up."

Arthur thought about the two lives that were now at stake, and the man wanted to believe they'd both come out of this alive, but began to doubt he'd see either one again.

The car pulled into the parking lot of a dark abandoned factory.

"We have to wait here for a bit until the car that will take us home shows up." He grabbed Matthew's arm and roughly pulled him out of the car. "Oh! By the way, I found us a new home. Away for anywhere someone will find us and take you again. You'll like it, I promise!"

The fear of being somewhere alone with Ivan caused Matthew to almost stop breathing. He would be alone, with just Ivan, no one else.

Matthew tried to pull away as Ivan dragged him into the building.

"IVAN STOP PLEASE I…"

"Hush now little one, stop being fussy." Ivan said to him, like he was scolding a child.

Ivan began up a rusty set of steps up to a small room on the third floor of the factory. The room was dusty, and there was a small mattress on a rusty frame. The giant man's eyes lit up when he saw it.

"Hey мой подсолнечника, let's play while we wait." Ivan giggled. Matthew stopped, remembering what Ivan meant by play.

Matthew began pushing against Ivan, screaming. "Please Ivan don't! Ivan please! I don't want it." Ivan grabbed on both of Matthew's hands tightly, looking confused.

"Hush, hush. Stop being fussy with me. I know you're confused with all the horrible things these men told you, but you know you belong with me. I love you . мой подсолнечника," Ivan pulled some rope out of his back pocket. "I'm sorry I have to do this but I have to make you remember that you belong with me." Ivan began to pull them closer to the bed, still holding Matthew's arms. Ivan tied the rope to the headboard and pushed Matthew onto the bed, tying his arms back with the rope.

Matthew was hysterically begging Ivan to stop. "Ivan. Ivan please don't do this. I don't want to do this!"

Ivan was moving on top Matthew's figure. "Matvey, stop fighting me now…you're starting to make me mad. This is what's best for you. To be with me."

Ivan's hands began to slowly unbutton Matthew's jeans.

To be continued


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Gilbert continued following the car. It was barely in his sight but he could still see it. He watched it turn in to an abandoned factory building. Gilbert couldn't feel his legs but that didn't stop him from continuing to run faster up the street.

By the time he got there the car was gone, but he could hear footsteps in the building. Gilbert knew he couldn't just follow through the front door.

'Damn, I have to find another way in.' Gilbert walked quickly to the side of the building where he found a fire escape. He looked up to find many of the windows were broken, and would give him a change to get in.

Gilbert struggled to climb up the latter of the rusty fire escape. He could hear voices.

He almost slipped down the ladder a few times, and he tightly gripped his hands as he continued.

'Matthew, I'm almost there!' He thought to himself. Gilbert finally stood next to the window where the voices were coming from. He was standing next to the window, slowly leaning forward to hear.

The white haired man's stomach began to turn as he heard the sounds coming from the room. There was a sound of creaking that went back and forth slowly, the sound of the rusty metal bed moving beneath someone's weight. Gilbert could hear the faint sound of a deep whispering in a language he didn't understand.

But the sound Gilbert could clearly understand was the quiet, soft, painful sobbing.

Matthew.

Gilbert's heart raced, unsure what to do as his legs begin to shake.

The deep voice spoke up again.

"Shhh, hush little one, everything is okay now." The man's tight accent echoed through the room. "I didn't want to do this but you have to understand who you belong too. These men don't love. I do."

Gilbert heard bodies shifting in the room and suddenly Matthew's voice went from scared to horrified.

"IVAN! PLEASE DON'T! I'M SORRY" His voice was filled with horror.

"Now now, hush. This will only hurt for a minute."

And moments later, Matthew's painful screams came through the window. Tears fell from Gilbert's eyes uncontrollably.

"I'm so fucking powerless. Why can't I do something?" Gilbert's hands were held up against his face, stopping his sobs from making a sound.

Finally after what seemed like forever, Matthew's screams stopped and Gilbert heard something drop to the floor.

"I have to make a call now. I'm going to find out when our ride will be here to take us home. Wait here little one." Gilbert heard heavy footsteps walk out of the room.

Gilbert could still heard Matthew's continued sobbing, to the point where he couldn't keep still, and he slowly stepped though the glass, moving carefully as not to cut his legs.

He almost lost what was in his stomach when he looked up at Matthew.

The blonde's arms were tied with thick rope above his head. His jeans were discarded on the dirty floor. His sweatshirt was hanging against the bed, and his undershirt was pushed up, revealing his chest.

There were dark blue marks all around his neck and chest and shoulders and his hips.

But the worst thing was across Matthew's lower stomach; the letters "I V A N" cut in slashes across his skin, still bleeding.

Gilbert walked slowly over to the old bed, Matthew's eyes were closed and his mouth hanging open, breathing through sobs. He moved as if he would break the floor if he stepped wrong.

"Matthew," he whispered. The blonde whimpered. "Matthew it's me." Gilbert's hand slowly brushed Matthew's cheek. His violet eyes shot open and he pulled back in surprise.

"Go…you shouldn't be here…he'll hurt you. Go." his voice was broken and hoarse. Gilbert pulled against the rope.

"No, no. Matthew I'm not going to leave you. We're to go home together." Gilbert's own voice was shaking. He was almost in tears to hear Matthew begging him to leave me.

"Please," the blonde sobbed. "He'll…he'll kill you. Please Gilbert, I don't want you to die." Gilbert looked around the room to find the same knife Ivan used to cut into Matthew. He took it and cut the thick rope, releasing Matthew's arm.

"I'd rather die than live knowing I left you with him. I'm taking you home. Come on. Matthew, I'm not leaving you." Gilbert looked into Matthew's eyes and took his hand. "Can you walk?" Matthew pulled his boxers up to his hips.

"I think…" As Gilbert slowly helped Matthew off the bed, the door creaked open.

"Oh dear, мой подсолнечника, I can't leave you alone for a minute, can I?" Ivan entered the room slowly, carrying what looked like a iron pipe.

"Ivan…please" Matthew started but Gilbert pushed in front of him.

"I'm taking Matthew back home. You're not going to stop me." He looked up at the man. Gilbert had to say, Ivan wasn't what he imagined he's be. This guy was indeed large and scary looking, but his childish face gave off a different kind of evil. An evil Gilbert couldn't place.

"Oh no, I'm afraid you're not taking him anywhere. He's coming with me. He belongs with me, boy."

"You're sick," Gilbert snarled, clutching the small knife in his hand, and as Ivan walked closer Gilbert ran at him with it. There are slight struggle as Ivan pushed Gilbert to the floor, leaving him with a cut across his arm.

"You aren't going to stand it my way." The taller man growled, slamming his pipe on the back of Gilbert's head before he could pick himself up off the floor.

"Gilbert!" Matthew screamed.

"Hush, Matvey." Ivan scolded.

Gilbert struggled to get on his feet. Ivan grabbed him by his shirt, lifting him and slamming him against the wall, dropping his pipe in order use both of his hands to squeeze Gilbert's neck.

"You've made a mistake. If you had just not gotten involved with MY MATVEY, this wouldn't have happened. You could have lived." Gilbert wheezed and struggled to breathe and tried to ignore the pain from the bleeding wound on the back of his head.

"Matvey is mine, all mine and I'm taking him back. I'm going to take him to a place no one will find us and, He. Will. Be. All. Mine. Like he is meant to be. You sealed your fate when you touched my Matvey."

"He…doesn't lo..ve you…"Gilbert breathed out. "He'll never love…you…" A change came over Ivan's face, his grip tightened and Gilbert was sure his lungs would give up.

"Then I'll make sure he'll never love anyone else." The man whispered.

A suddenly the sound of bone hitting medal sounded and Gilbert watched Ivan's eyes close and his body fell, unconscious.

Gilbert looked up to find Matthew with Ivan's pipe in his hands, shaking, eyes locked on Ivan's form on the ground.

"Matthew? Did you?" Gilbert started, but before Matthew could say anything, they both hears the sirens pull in outside.

"I want to go home." Matthew breathed out as if he was holding his breath for hours. Gilbert walked over to him and took his hand.

"I do too." Gilbert could hear the footsteps of the police coming up the stairs. He began to lead Matthew to the door, the pounding in his head getting worse and worse.

"Hello? We're in here." He called out to the people outside, Matthew grabbing tightly onto him.

When they made it outside the building, Arthur and Alfred were waiting alongside the police and an ambulance. Alfred ran up and drew Matthew in to a hug. They cried in each other's arms while the police pulled the unconscious Ivan out of the building and into a police car.

"I was so scared Mattie, I was so scared." Alfred clutched his younger brother. "I thought I was going to lose you again." He sobbed into Matthew's shirt.

"I'm safe now Alfred, it'll be okay."

The police questioned Matthew and Gilbert shortly before putting both of them in the ambulance.

"Listen, I'm fine, you need to help Matthew." Gilbert said to Arthur and the others.

"Your head is bleeding…you need medical attention just as much." As the paramedics closed the doors, Matthew grabbed Gilbert's hand.

"Don't worry, everything is going to be fine from now on." Gilbert said softly, but he could feel himself drifting off.

When Gilbert came to, the first thing he saw was the bright hospital walls. He sat up quickly, almost falling out of bed.

"I'd suggest you not move so quickly, you don't want to mess up the stitches I just did."

"Elizabeta!" Gilbert recognized the lady's voice. The brown haired doctor smiled at him.

"That's Dr. Hedervary to you." She laughed. "That was a pretty nasty head wound Gil, you just can't seem to stay out of trouble can you?" her back was to him as she finished up paperwork.

"I..."

"I know what happened Gilbert, you don't need to tell." Elizabeta's voice turned quiet. "I understand."

Gilbert stopped. "Where's Matthew?"

She turned to look at him. "He's in an examination room; they're still looking at him and cleaning him. You can go see him now if you like, you're done anyway." She opened the door for him as Gilbert climbed out of bed.

When Gilbert made it to the room, Alfred and Arthur met him at the door. Neither of them looked happy or relived.

"Is something wrong? What happened!?" Gilbert panicked.

"Everything is okay, the doctors just got done with Matthew. They are going to send him home." Alfred answered.

"What happened now? What do we do? What's going to happened to Matthew?" Gilbert's heart couldn't take it anymore. Arthur's face said it all.

"We don't know. Right now, he's okay. But there is a high chance that Matthew will regress, and the PTSD may come back."

Gilbert's hands started to shake. "What does that mean?"

Arthur cleared his throat, "We don't know, but…"

"All the work and progress we made with Matthew is pretty much gone."

Gilbert's words just spilled out. "I don't care, I'm staying with him. You can't make me leave him. He needs me…I need him.

Arthur sighed. "I was wrong about you Gilbert. I was. But it's not going to be easy. He is already showing signs of reverting back to how he was months ago. It will be tough."

"I DON'T CARE, I LOVE HIM. I WOULDN'T GIVE UP ON HIM."

Gilbert stopped, this was the first time he had said it out loud. He loved Matthew.

They then heard a soft cry from inside the room; Alfred motioned for Gilbert to go in.

The young man found Matthew sitting up, crying into his hands.

"Mattie…" He started.

"I ...love you too….I love you..." Matthew repeated into his hands, sobbing though every word. Gilbert ran to the bed and took Matthew into his arms.

"It's okay, it's over now. You're safe." Gilbert whispered into his ear, tears starting to well up in his eyes as well. "I'm going to take care of you. We'll be alright."

"I want to take care of you too." Matthew's hands took Gilberts as he laid his head on his shoulder. "I love you Gilbert."

"I love you too Matthew." Gilbert cried softly.

After all of this, Gilbert felt more sure of this then anything else in the world . As he kissed Matthew's lips just barely, he believed that this was what they both needed.

Matthew needed peace and true love.

And Gilbert needed someone to change for. And now it did not matter what would happen to them; at least they had each other.

The end.

Annnnd that's the end. Phew it's been a long time but it's finally done. I hope you all liked it.

Also I've been thinking of writing an alternate ending, or the bad ending. I'm not sure how you guys would feel. Would you like me to write the alternate ending with Ivan winning? Please tell me.


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